


Contra Omnes Dissident

by Quellas



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: A little angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Because Tros is Rey's villain origin story, Ben Solo is alive, But not quite at first, Dark Rey, Empress Rey, F/M, Force Dyad (Star Wars), It will take a little while till Ben and Rey meet again, Mine too, Post TROS, There are a few surprises, ben solo is Soft, everyone gets a happy ending
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-01
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:00:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 30,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22514374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quellas/pseuds/Quellas
Summary: After being forced to live without her soulmate, Rey slowly falls to the darkside, anxious for the Galaxy to suffer the same way she did.What she doesn't know is that Ben Solo lives and their paths will meet again.Can he bring her back to the light or will she take him to the dark once and for all?
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 24
Kudos: 62





	1. The Empress

“Tell me what I want to know.” Her words are solid, harsh, demanding. “Don’t fight it.” She looks deep in the eyes of the man that is hardly breathing on the sand. His face a canvas of fresh blood. Her yellow saber ignited in an obvious threat.

“I won’t tell you anything!” He says spiting blood at her feet.

Without flinching she stabs him, watching as he falls dead, exhaling.

Another dead end, she had to keep looking.

——

They see her coming from inside the Temple.

“She’s seeking answers.” The youngest says.

“We can’t give them.” The older man responds.

“Why? Doesn’t she deserve to know?”

“To deserve something is not the same as to need it.”

“I think it’s unfair and unwise, Master.”

The older keeps quiet, his wrinkles profound with his frowning. The younger speaks again:

“She’s leaving a trail of death and destruction behind. She will not spare us.”

“I know, young apprentice.”

“But, then why-”

“It is not our place to give her these answers, we can’t interfere in her path.”

“But she’s already lost, master. She caved to the dark side. We can both sense it.”

The younger man doesn’t try to hide his discomfort while the Master can only sigh.

When she arrives they don’t answer her questions. She leaves without taking a second glance at both bodies, her now deep red saber dangling in her hand.

——

Two creatures sit in front of a little house. Only silence could be heard miles away. Everyone had fled. These two, however, just gaze at the horizon.

“It’s not the worst way to die, don’t you think?” The female creature asks using their old and forgotten language.

“It isn’t.”

“I always loved all the water and green here. Thank you, love, for all these years of happiness.”

They hold hands, fat three-fingered hands.

“Are you afraid, love?” The male asks.

“I am not. We’ve lived long enough.”

They see when the red ship lands in the distance. They wait. From afar they can see a woman, weapon in hand, her stride purposeful.

“Are you two the only ones?” The woman speaks their language as she approaches them.

“Yes, we are.”

“You know why I’m here.”

“We do.”

The woman ignite her now black saber, watching the creatures.

“Tell me.” She demands.

The male creature only shake his head denying her what she wants. The female is already ready to die, but as she watches the woman, she sees her resolve falter: she has her eyes fixed at their intertwined hands. The creature lets herself hope for mercy, but before she can voice it, the black saber end hers and her partner’s life in a blink.

——

The moment she arrived at the first planet, those oblivious to who she was never saw it coming. She was now recruiting. The weak and the young didn’t even stand a chance. They were hers now. To obey and die for.

Soon she had a fleet. Soon she had fanatics by her feet, calling to her, following her everywhere, spreading her word of violence. No mercy. No hope. She gained power. At first she needed those things to find what she was looking for, but came a day when she couldn’t even remember what she was searching. The dark was now her home. Power, her drug. Destruction, her hobby. Suffering, her only goal. She knew pain, she knew loneliness, she knew starvation, she knew despair… she wanted everyone else to know these things too.

She started a new order: she never gave a name to it, but people started calling it the Darkage Order. And she called herself Empress Rey, but most already referred to her as The Second Palpatine.

——

**Six standard years after the Battle of Exegol.**

She’s looking down from her throne at both soldiers in front of her. They kneel.

“We pledge ourselves to you, Empress.”

The Empress squints her eyes, slowly. Considering. She can tell they are both powerful, the woman and the man, however, there’s something else that she can’t quite place. A sensation.

“Rise, both of you.”

She descends and comes closer to them. She’s struggling with her own feelings. Her guts tells her she should kill them… they somehow make her uncomfortable. Odd. Her mind, on the other hand, can sense they’ll be good at her army, strong and obedient. Both avoid her eyes.

“Tell me your names.”

“I’m Pollus, this is my sister, Allegra.”

Brother and sister. Interesting.

“Why are you here?”

“We live by your belief: pain and suffering gives us strength and that’s the only way to achieve greatness and be worthy of this life that was given to us.”

The Empress nods. Good. She can feel they believe in it. But something…

“We have information on the opponents of the Order.”

She snaps her head at the woman’s voice.

“How come?”

“We encountered them by chance. We murdered a few, but the rest escaped. We think they are trying to bring back the Jedi.”

The Empress laughs loudly at that. “Fools. They could never. There will never again exist a Jedi. The Skywalkers are all dead and gone and I can sense anyone that is born force sensitive around the entire Galaxy. I kill them at birth. Does that make you uncomfortable, Allegra?” She considers the woman, she looks younger than the man. She notices they are both very beautiful. It didn’t escape her eyes the way Allegra’s hand closed in a fist the moment she said Skywalkers.

“Not at all, Empress, if it is your wish, I would gladly kill them myself.”

She goes back to her throne. “Good. I might as well do that. You seem strong, I want both of you to deal with these kind of annoyance.”

They give her a curt nod and turn to leave the room, however, a pull, strange and forgotten even to herself, makes her ask: “Where are you from?” They freeze. She senses they are a little troubled, but soon it goes away. Pollus is the one to answer.

“From nowhere and everywhere, Empress. We are lost children.”

Something inside her cracks. _Just like me._ She feels some kind of proximity with them, which startles her. Lost children always existed, she was one of them, left behind, forgotten. Now, ruling the Galaxy, she is always thinking about these children, she thought they should be able to eventually find a way to survive and strive on their own. _Just like me._ Those would be worthy of her time. However, no one ever got that far, not a single lost child had came to her, these siblings were the first ones. They are still frozen in place, waiting. “When did you become lost children?” She actually wants to know the answer.

They turn and face her again, Pollus speaks: “Under the First Order regime, Empress.” She waits for him to continue and again her own actions surprise her, she is curious about them. Very curious. “Our father died fighting… and soon after that our mother disappeared. We had no one else.”

“How old were you?”

“I was 10, Allegra 8.”

She nods, they look about her age now.

“I have to say I’m a little impressed.”

They bow.

“Thank you, Empress.”

“You can leave.”

——

Worlds away from the Empress’ Castle, two spirits are talking to a young man.

“They finally arrived at her Castle. She noticed nothing. The training went well. You did good.” The spirits talk as if they are one. Echoing words.

“Can I go back now?” The young man asks.

“Not yet. We have to wait.”

“I don’t have time for this! Don’t you see what she’s become?” he yells.

“Time goes by differently here. You should know this already, young Skywalker.”

“Don’t call me that. Ever.”

“We know, we just wanted to piss you off.” They laugh. “Prepare yourself, Ben Solo, there’s more to come.”


	2. The First

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter we go back to what happens to Ben after he disappears in Rey's arms.

When he opens his eyes all he can see is light and for a brief moment he wants to believe this blinding brightness is her. But he knows better. He felt himself slipping away, leaving, but at that moment he wasn’t sad or angry or alone, she was there, she held him. She kissed him. It was everything he’d hoped for, even if he already knew it would be their first and last kiss. Her love for him sang through their bond, he would never forget it and he would never regret what he did… his life, his heart, his soul, his everything were hers already, so he might as well give it to her.  
  
He didn’t want to think of the unfairness of it all. 

Also, at that moment he felt his mother pouring all her love for him in a strange connection. For the first time in many years, he felt full, warm… loved. He finally found something close to peace, so he couldn’t understand why he had his eyes open staring at what seemed a white ceiling, shouldn’t he be dead? Was he?

“You are not dead.” 

Ben jumps. “What?” He looks around and see two shapes floating near him, shining. He squints his eyes, trying to take a better look and as if guessing what he was doing, the excessive light fades. He can see both forms a little better and immediately he senses it: they are force sensitive, stronger than anything he ever encountered, but he doesn’t recognize them as a threat. 

“Hello Ben, how are you feeling?” they speak at the same time, as one. 

“Like crap, to be honest.” No sense in lying. “Feeling like I should be dead. Why am I not?”

“Because of Rey, of course.” 

Ben frowns. “I just saved her. Gave everything I had to her.”

“Yeah, well… a little foolish of you, really. We understand why you did it but you gave more than necessary.” The spirits laugh as one and exchange words out loud, as if thinking together. “We know what that’s like, don’t we?” “Yes, young love is something else, a buzz.” “It is, do you remember how we used to be?” “Yes, good times! You were gentler.” “You keep saying that just because of that one time I was a little angry with you, please get over it, it’s been eons!”

Ben keeps looking at them, what is happening? Where is he? What are these things?

“Hey, hey! We are not things, show some respect. It’s normal for you to be this confused, so let us explain everything, please don’t interrupt, don’t think, don’t even move if you can. We don’t like when people fret.

“We are beings of light!! You can call us, The First.” Ben quirks an eyebrown. “Yes, I know, not the most original name, but it tells the truth. Although, we weren’t born this way. We were just two normal force users - before this nonsense of Jedi and Sith came along - many, many years ago and then one day we met each other. Everything changed that day. It started slowly, at first we just wanted to be near each other so we began training together-”

“What do you mean nonsense of Jedi and Sith?” Ben interrupts.

“Are you seriously interrupting after we just told you not to?”

“Yes?” 

Both beings keep looking at him. “So stubborn… no wonder he’s here.”

“Look, I’m just trying to understand-”

“Yeah, yeah, ok. You can ask questions. But try not to.” They look at each other. “A long time ago there was a force user called Primordio… he was strong and powerful and had a partner: Yvana. He loved her very much, she too was very powerful with the force. Back then, light and darkness were one, any force user could find an equilibrium. Human or creature, every living thing, specially those in contact with the force, feel deeply, so it’s easier to loose yourself, to fall into something that you can’t find a way out, that’s why the balance is so important… it evens out everything, leaves everyone at the same level. However, a young practicer loved Yvana too and couldn’t stand her relationship with Primordio, his teacher tried to show him how to control these feelings but this young apprentice never found his center. Consumed by jealousy and anger, he tried to take Yvana against her will, she was obviously stronger than him so she neutralized him before anything could happen. Being balanced in the force, Yvana could at the same time hate and pity the young fool. She showed him mercy, gave him the option to go away and never go back to their community. Her mistake was not realizing how much deep in the darkness he already was, he tricked her, took advantage of her kindness. In his mind, if he couldn’t have her, no one else could. He killed her. Primordio saw it and lost all his balance, he murdered the young apprentice and fell to the dark. Deeply. You see… Primordio and Yvana were a dyad in the force.” Ben’s eyes widen. “Don’t look so surprised, you already knew you and Rey weren’t the only ones. Anyway, Primordio couldn’t live without Yvana, fell to absolute darkness and that’s when force users started giving names like Jedi… or Sith. Primordio was the first real Sith, totally lost and consumed by hatred, he left a path of destruction, violence and fear. He killed many that didn’t want to live like him, so as a way to fight these dark force users that were rising, a few elders took the total opposite path, the blinding light, total abnegation striped from any kind of desire or want, they created the Jedi and thus the separation between light and dark began.” They stop, watching him. 

Ben’s mind is racing, he never heard any of this, for him it was as simple as that: there was light and there was darkness, if you choose one you automatically had to deny the other. This or that. And now these beings were telling him that… what, exactly? That he could have both? At the same time? _Without conflict_?

“Exactly.”

“Stop reading my mind.”

“Sorry, we can’t help it.”

“I… I want to know more about the dyads.”

“What do you already know?”

“Not much… just that a dyad is in fact one, that the parts are bounded for life and, well, I was capable to resurrect Rey… so there’s that.” He has a smile on his face. 

“Ok, well… you should feel honored because we’re the first dyad ever and, you know, we’re almost older than life and we’re here, just to help you.” 

Ben couldn’t see their faces, sometimes he would get a glimpse of how they looked like but most of the time all he could see was similar to a blurry image, as if he had some sight problem. 

“You really can’t see our faces and I know it can be a little frustrating, but we are very, very old… so it’s understandable, we lost most of our form, now we live as beings only, natural forces… we can be anywhere, do anything, travel through time and space, it’s pretty fun actually.”

“Tell me about the dyads.”

“So impatient… A dyad is something that never, listen to us, never ends. Ever. It’s forever. We lived a long life together, we died together and became spirits together, we kept changing through years and years, but always together, always more powerful. But we’re a successful dyad, not many have the same luck we do. Some spend all their lives feeling strange and hollow, like something is missing, that happens because they never meet their equal, they are a dyad but not really, it’s a life of suffering. Others dyads simply don’t make it…”

“What do you mean?”

“Well… the ones that actually find each other always have some difficulties.”

“Why?”

“Ben… we and the dyad between Primordio and Yvana are exceptions. Our bond, connection and love was so strong that it eventually became a dyad, the force made it special, we learned how to share the force and the same happened with Primordio and Yvana. However, after their tragic separation the dyads were always between a light user and a dark user of the force, that’s why it’s so complicated. The dyad happens because the force is trying to find a way to become balanced again, it’s searching for a solution, it’s seeking peace. The force is life itself, that’s why the dyad is also life itself…” 

Ben stays silent. Everything that happened since he found out that he and Rey were a dyad making a little more sense. However…

“You said I’m not dead because of Rey, what do you mean?”

“See… the only reason why you’re still alive is a string that connects you to Rey. This is very rare. She refuses to let you go, a part of her keeps you breathing, but she doesn’t even realize it. Most dyads are broken beyond repair when one half dies, but you two… you two are special. That’s a bit why we’re here.”

“Special how?”

“We’ve been watching, Ben, always there, always trying to help out dyads that the force creates and after many exhausting years we finally came across a really powerful one. A dyad that can truly change everything, one that can bring balance to the force again. You and Rey.”

Ben finally gets up and starts pacing around the place. It goes on and on. An infinitude of white before his eyes. He needs time to process. “Where am I?”

“You are in between.”

“That’s the name of it?” He looks around.

“Not really, it’s just a fact. You are between life and death. Rey basically created this place with her love for you. It’s a bright place where she keeps you safe. Not dead, but not alive either.”

“How is this possible?”

“It shouldn’t be. And as we said, she doesn’t realize it. Her mind made this, she bended the force with her soul. A soul that couldn’t live without yours. We believe that if she’d indeed let you go, she would be dead too. She’s very powerful.”

“I know. She always was the strongest of us.” He sighs. Ben feels lost and hurt, how could he think that giving her everything was the right choice? That she would be happy without him? They were supposed to be together, deep inside he’d always known that. It breaks him to think about how much she suffered the moment he disappeared for her to subconsciously keep him alive because she wouldn’t survive his death. So much pain, when would it end? Never? He could not accept that. He would not. “So what now? What do we do? You said you wanted to help, how?” 

“You need to go back to her, you two need to have a life together, change the way the force is treated by those that are in connection with it, change the force itself, life itself, but-”

They stop.

“But?”

“It won’t be easy, Ben. Look, this” they gesture around “is taking a toll on her.”

“Keeping me alive? What do you mean?”

“She’s pouring her light here. We don’t mean she’s losing it, but she’s losing contact with it. Like every living creature she has both light and dark inside her. Throughout her life she kept the light bright, using it in her favor so she never caved to the dark but she always struggled with it, but now… now we can assure that she will be in contact with her dark in ways she never had. It will happen slowly, but it will happen nonetheless.” 

Ben grunts. “No, no… this can’t happen. If dyads are light and dark… I already am the dark, she can’t be the dark too.”

“You really don’t understand it, do you? Dyads exchange light and dark all the time, that’s why there’s a balance! Honestly, we thought you would be smarter.”

He doesn’t even register the insult. Thoughts of Rey are filling his mind. His Rey. So brave and bright. At their encounters he kept repeating he wanted her to surrender to the dark to be with him, but it never rang true even to his own ears. He never wanted her dark. She should always bask in this beautiful light that was so purely her. He dreads what might happen if she loses this light. He knew her life had never been easy, but her kindness and innate goodness kept her alive for so long and just to imagine her seeing life without this shining light gave him chills. She would see all the ugly. All the bad. And she would cave to it, she would let it take her because it was the easy way out of all the raw suffering. If you can’t beat it, join it. 

He knew it. He’d experienced it. 

“We understand the way you feel.” The spirits look at each other, Ben can see their heads moving. He doesn’t like it. “But you have to accept that she will fall to the dark.”

“No way. Send me back right now!”

“We can’t… only Rey can. But now is not the right time.” 

“What are you saying then?”

“It will take years-”

“What? How in-”

“Listen. She uses light to keep you here. She needs dark to pull you out. She needs to fall.”

Ben closes his eyes. “Why?”

“It’s the balance. It always takes and gives something in order to be even, think about it. It makes sense.”

Ben is stunned. He runs his hands all over his hair, he stomps like a child, not believing what is happening. Rey. This can’t be true. No, no, no… there must be another way…

“There’s no other way. We’re so very sorry, Ben.” 

Ben looks at them. “Please.” He is almost crying. “Not like this, please.”

“She has to go through this. We can’t interfere.”

Ben cries openly now. The First waits for him to calm down, when he does, they say: “We have a plan.”

“You better. Tell me.”

“As ironic as life is, she will fall to the dark trying to bring you back, seeking across the Galaxy for clues and unfortunately for things that do not exist. She will believe in an old Sith tale that says the dark side can bring people back to life. She will be certain that she can summon you back with these powers, but this isn’t true… yeah, yeah, we know what we just said, but the only reason why she can bring you back is because you two are a dyad, two halves that are one, there's nothing to do with the darkside. However, along the way she will be blinded by the dark and make no mistake, she will bury the memory of you so deep inside that for her it will be as if it never happened.”

“Well… that sounds like a shitty plan if you ask me.”

“That’s not the plan, we’re just explaining how things will unfold. When completely lost in the dark, drugged by its power, that’s when she won’t think about you anymore. That’s when our plan begins.”

The First tremble and suddenly they are holding a baby. A boy. He cries loudly. Ben is transfixed, he feels the force around the baby and all his emotions. In a beat he has his arms around the little baby, a foreign love assaults him and leaves him breathless, a love beyond words and literally worlds. He looks at The First, his eyes shining.

“Ben, this is Pollus. Your and Rey’s son.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! So, I'm not sure what's canon about the origin of the Sith and the Jedi, but here this will make sense.
> 
> Next chapter: Ben as a dad and more of our beloved Empress!


	3. Uncomfortable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there! Is anyone reading this? hahaha   
> So, life got in the way and this update took me longer than I expected.  
> But here it is! :)

For two whole years is just him and his son. The First appears occasionally bringing him news about Rey - Ben cringed when he heard she was calling herself Rey Skywalker - and what is happening at the World of the Living - a name he began to use without even realizing. 

He is totally bewitched by his son. Ben spends hours just memorizing his little fingers, his big green-brown eyes and his soft black hair. He watches as Pollus bends the force with his cries; he laughs and almost cries himself when Pollus does little sounds of indignation or satisfaction while testing the boundaries of the force; he worries when his son begins to crawl around their space; he barely sleeps. 

Everything they might need, the in-between provides. Ben sleeps in a big bed and Pollus in a little crib; they have clothes for every possible occasion - Ben is not sure why, but he appreciates the fact; there is always food for them but they also have something similar to a cooking station where Ben likes to spend some time trying recipes that he learned a long time ago with his mother; they share a bathroom. However, his favorite place is an open arena where he is able to meditate and train fight positions and stands; he exercises his mind and his body everyday. He is slowly healing a few emotional wounds. Slowly. 

Pollus walks before he can even speak properly. His little feet are like mini rockets, Ben tries to keep up. 

Every night - or what he can sense is night since there is no way for him to really know - he sings for his son. His song is a hopeful one: he imagines a day when they will reunite with Rey; he tells of a place so green and warm that would keep away any nightmare; he intones how they would fly among the stars and conquer the Galaxy. Pollus always sleeps in his arms, cradled by the sound of his voice and by the rhythm of his heart. 

Ben already noticed that time passes differently for him. Pollus is obviously growing up, learning things and developing. Ben doesn’t see a single change in his own reflexion. He doesn’t seem or feel older. But he knows he’s not actually, really, living. In the in-between he is just existing. 

He tries not to worry, but it is almost impossible. Every time Pollus is asleep Ben thinks of Rey. He thinks how she is dealing with her feelings… he wonders if she is traumatized after what happened with Palpatine, after he disappeared. His only conclusion is: of course she is traumatized. But she is just too stubborn to deal with her emotions, he knows she is probably hiding everything away. Does she have someone she can really talk to? His mother is one with the force now. Does she appear to Rey? What about his uncle? That insufferable bastard? Does he at least help Rey? Does she talk to Chewie, maybe? Does she smile at others while she is bleeding inside? _Shit_ , she probably does.

But at the end of the day there is no way for him to know these things. 

Pollus makes everything better.

The first time he says ‘dada’ Ben has a smile so big on his face that his cheeks hurt. “Yes, that’s right, I’m your dada.” He says as he brushes a tear away from his eyes and watches how much his son is resembling Rey. Now Pollus can say many words and one of his favorites is ‘force’ and Ben finds it incredibly funny, “You sure are your parents son.” 

Things change a few days after Pollus had just turned two. 

“Hey there!” The First appears out of thin air. Pollus squeals, he loves them and Ben is a little mortified by it since they annoy him to no end. 

“Back so soon? Just two days ago you were here, did something happen?”

“Well, yes and no.” They are levitating Pollus with the force, the boy laughs, delighted. “With the living things are pretty much the same, no big changes, but we have something for you.”

“Yeah? What?” Ben’s a little distracted watching Pollus tugging at one of the spirits tunic so he doesn’t notice right away when the other one bends his body in his direction, offering him something. He hears and senses it first: a little cry and a shift in the force. Without his permission he is crying again, happy tears. He looks and sees a beautiful baby and in an instant he is holding her. They don’t even have to explain, Ben knows she is his daughter. Pollus is now by his side, watching in silence. 

“This is Allegra.” She is bigger than Pollus when he was just a baby. Her hair is brown and her nose is so little it gets lost in the abundance that are her cheeks. After Snoke/Palpatine - whatever that was - took Ben’s heart, he thought he was never meant to love anyone or anything in his life, the only way he knew how to keep going was surrendering to anger and pain. But things started changing when he met Rey and now everything is different, his own soul feels like something else, opening to love, allowing inside this feeling that he denied for so long. It is all around him, a love so pure and innocent emanating from his children. Ben feels a warmth that hugs him so tightly it is possible to heal a little more and in a second he knows for sure that this love will be his everything till the day he ceases to exist. His voice fails a little:

“Pollus, this is your sister.” The little boy covers her hands with his own. “You are now a big brother.” Ben is still crying. His family. Almost complete, _almost._

“Hi!” Pollus smiles and Ben’s heart clenches.

After hours, The First is still there helping Ben settle with Allegra while doing force tricks to entertain Pollus. Ben can sense happiness in a way that is almost suffocating, could he really have all this, with Rey, one day? 

Is this even real? That is a question he is ignoring. He should ask The First, they actually expect him to, but he is afraid of what the answer might be. 

“Don’t be.” The First says. Ben only nods, he is not ready yet. 

——

The castle is not monumental, however its dark facade is terribly intimidating. The planet is very beautiful and they understand their mother’s choice: the day is extremely long and full of life but the night belongs to its savagery and bone-deep coldness, so whatever blossoms in the morning is already dead when darkness comes. Pollus and Allegra sit outside by the river that surrounds the castle. It is night, so they have a fire and many layers on. Although the Empress gave them rooms they prefer to talk outside.

“I miss dad.” 

Pollus huffs. “Of course you do.” 

They don’t talk for a while and if it weren’t for the fire crackling, the total silence would be overwhelming. “She doesn’t even have guards.” Pollus says. “I guess it makes sense, right? Did you feel how powerful she is?”

“I did.” Allegra’s voice is low. She has her eyes closed.

“What is it?”

“Nothing.”

“Are you afraid?”

She opens her eyes. “Don’t be ridiculous.” Pollus moves his hands, instigating her to go on. She sighs. “I just… it’s so strange. I thought she would recognize us somehow or even feel our force signatures… I know dad taught us how to perfectly hide it, but still… what do you think she would do if she found out who we really are?” 

So that’s what was bothering her. “You mean… would she kill us?” He considers. “I don’t think she would.”

Allegra snorts. “Yeah, right.”

“I’m serious. Allegra, she’s our mother.” He says as stating the obvious.

She squints her eyes at him. “You are just as blind as dad. Pollus, she isn’t our mother. This woman never met us, she never thought of us, she doesn’t even know or acknowledge that we exist. And everything is so much worse… The First never told us the naked truth… she- she’s too far gone.”

“And that’s exactly why we’re here, Allegra.” He takes her hands in his. “Look, it’s not gonna be easy, but we have a plan and we must stick to it.” He inhales deeply. “We have to.” 

“Don’t you think it’s strange she gave us rooms?”

“A little. I doubt she trusts us, but she doesn’t see us as a threat either.” He has his eyes fixed at a high window of the castle. Is she watching them? “I’m pretty sure of that.” 

Allegra starts walking back and forth, a clear sign of her uneasiness. Pollus just keeps looking at the castle. 

“It worries me that she did, I mean, what she thinks of us? But well, at the same time is a good thing, we can keep a close eye on her.”

“I know.” Pollus answers. “But we have to do whatever she asks of us.” Allegra curses under her breath. “Yeah, I know, it pisses me off too.”

“I can’t kill babies, Pollus.” She gives him a pointed look referring to the “I kill them at birth” bit of the Empress’s speech. 

“Let’s just hope it doesn’t come to that. Allegra, you have to control yourself, she obviously noticed something from you when she talked about the Skywalkers-”

“How can you be so cold?” Her voice is a tone higher now. “She was talking about our family-”

“Stop it, now! I’m serious.” Pollus stands up, he’s a good head taller than Allegra. “We can’t afford to be emotional here, you know that! I understand if you don’t like her or-”

“I _hate_ her.” 

“Don’t say that, she’s our mother-”

“Stop saying that! She’s anything but that. You know why I’m really here, Pollus? Hum? Do you? I’m doing this for our father, he deserves to live, he deserves happiness!” She shouts. “I don’t give a fuck about this evil bitch! The Galaxy is dying because of her, all around people are suffering, begging for scraps, killing to survive just another day. There’s no love anymore, only hate. The Galaxy itself feels that way, everything is cold and bare. Because of her!”

“You don’t mean these things, stop it before you regret your own words, sis.”

“Don’t ‘sis’ me! You created a fantasy inside your head, Pollus. You believe that she’s the next best thing in the whole Galaxy. I’m sure you dream about her finding out about us and crying, hugging and kissing us like a loving mother would. But you know what? Grow up! She is-” Allegra stops abruptly, her eyes searching the forest behind Pollus. 

Pollus turns around to look, their argument forgotten. “What is it?” He whispers. 

“I thought I saw something.” She’s very still. “No, scratch that. I’m sure I saw something.” 

They are on high alert now. If someone heard this conversation… both know the risk, so they wait and listen. A sound similar to metal clinking catches their attention. “Shit! It’s a M-Robot!” Allegra doesn’t even finish talking, she is already running towards the darkness, Pollus stops her. 

“We can’t go in there, Allegra! All kinds of things live inside these forests.”

“We have to.” She keeps walking and he follows. “It’s a monitoring robot, Pollus. It registers everything it sees and hears and tomorrow morning it will be playing a nice little video of this conversation to the Empress and we’ll be dead by afternoon, our mission ruined…”

“We can’t use the force here or she will sense it.”

“So?” She stops at the edge of the forest. “We can use our lightsabers. THERE!”

Allegra runs and Pollus ignites his saber, keeping up. If the castle is intimidating, the forest doesn’t have a word good enough for describing it as it is way more imposing and daunting. The M-Robot is a little sphere that flies through air and at the moment it ignores their presence but keeps moving at a fast pace deeper into the wilderness. A little behind, Pollus can only see the light from his sister’s saber, an incredible white he’d always admired. His saber is only a dull green, however the cross at the hilt - a tip from his father - made him the best fighter. He sees Allegra stopping and he slows his pace.

“What?”

“I lost it!” She looks terrified but in an instant the little robot is right in front of them. With a beeping sound it fires a blast in Allegra’s direction that she blocks easily with her saber. She engages in a dance of striking the robot over and over again while it keeps dodging all her tries and firing annoying blasts at her, which only frustrates her further. Pollus just watches, trying to find a better approach, it’s obvious the M-Robot knows how to respond to a lightsaber, but why? Does the Empress uses these robots to practice? 

Allegra is now angrier than before and by this point Pollus is just amused. 

“Are you going to keep staring like an useless idiot?” She’s grunting. 

“Oh, I’m sorry, it’s just fun. The robot is kicking your ass.” He laughs. “And yeah, I think you can handle it.” The robot moves faster and suddenly is firing three blasts at the same time. One catches Allegra’s left arm. 

“OK! Now I’m pissed!!” she charges forward leaping into the air and before she can cut the robot in half, Pollus yells at her: “Don’t destroy it!” So she misses her chance. 

“Why??”

“Don’t you think it would be interesting to watch everything it has recorded or I don’t know, we could try to reprogram it?” 

“It still surprises me that you actually have a brain.”

They both laugh and after a while Allegra finally finds an opening and smashes the robot with the hilt of her saber, avoiding its total destruction. “You are ridiculous.” Pollus says while she does a little dance around the fallen robot. “You love me for that.” She answers.

Pollus catches the robot and turns it around in his hands “So, ok, I guess it must be inside somewhere… hum, no, not here… maybe here? Guess not. Ah I think I found it.” He presses a button and smoke puffs out of the robot.

“What did you do?” 

“Hum, nothing… I think it destroyed itself. Well… anyway, let’s keep it. If I can change its configuration we could make it respond to us. Imagine that? It could record the Empress’s every step.” 

“Won’t she know?” 

“I’m not sure, but I think we should try and since you didn’t cut it with your lightsaber I think it will be fine.” 

“Yeah, ok.” Allegra shrugs and they start walking back. “So, I’m sorry about earlier, I didn’t mean to lash out at you like that.”

“No need to apologize. I understand and I’m sorry too. But please, we have to be careful. We have to gain her trust before we begin exploring this castle and everything else. I’m curious about what she might keep inside these walls.”

They are close to their fire now and a ship crossing the sky above their heads, startles them. It is the Empress’s. “Well I don’t like her but her ship is amazing.” They observe quietly as the ship red as blood and shaped as a single drop of water disappears into the Galaxy. 

“Where do you think she’s going?” Pollus asks. 

“No idea.”

  
——

Her window gives her a clear view of the surroundings so she can see the fire burning outside, where are they? She saw they entering the forest, which surprised her a little. Thoughts of the siblings are flooding her mind, tormenting her. She doesn’t like it. At all. _Why? Who are they? Why they make me so uncomfortable?_ Rey can’t quite place what she’s feeling.

She keeps looking at the forest. _Are they a threat? Should I kill them? Send them to an impossible mission, perhaps?_ She smiles coldly at the thought. _Yes._ There was a brief moment when she met them… she felt something powerful. If they come back from her mission, maybe- _maybe I can trust them. They could be my favorites. Lost children that-_

Everything goes silent. Signatures she never thought she would sense again are invading her room, invading her mind, uninvited. She senses them before they even materialize behind her. She is very surprise but no one would know by just looking at her expressionless face. It’s been years the last she saw them. Turning around she sees Luke and Leia’s ghosts staring back at her. 

They always look exactly the same and their faces are incredible annoying to her. 

“Rey.” Leia says and the pure sound of her voice is enough to trigger something beyond words inside Rey so she presses her eyes shut with ferocious intensity, wishing them to vanish. 

“Open your eyes, kid.” Luke’s voice has a little edge, clearly not asking but ordering. 

“Go away!” She ignites her black lightsaber without thinking. Her mind is wild now, she strikes them over and over again. She keeps going even though she knows it is pointless. Leia’s sad expression only angers her further. Who they think they are? Appearing to her? Gazing at her with pity? PITY?

No one pities The Empress. No one can. They have no reason to, she is the most powerful being in the whole Galaxy, nothing can defeat her, nothing can stop her. She is saying these words out loud while she swings her saber wildly. She only stops when she feels something wet at her face. Tears. She is crying. _What?_ The action is now so foreign to her that she stills. She is alone again. But the absurdity of what just happened lingers in the air. She has to get out of here. Go anywhere. Just fly away. 

She is running towards her ship. Her black cape floating behind her. She holds her lightsaber tightly but doesn’t even realize it. She tries to keep her mind empty because she knows… **she knows.** If she starts thinking she will get to a place she promised she never would go again. She knows it’s not Luke, not even Leia that triggered this. They just remind her of something. **Someone. An aching absence.** _No. I can’t go there._ She enters her ship and in a second she’s getting away, leaving the castle and the encounter behind. She just wishes she could leave her feelings and emotions as well. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, well, well... are you okay there, Empress?


	4. Becoming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Happy International Women's Day! But remember, we are awesome every day ! 
> 
> Honoring today, an entire chapter dedicate to Rey and what happened to her. 
> 
> .

She is not sure why she is here. In her attempt to run away from her feelings she landed at the one planet she promised a long time ago to never return. A place full of memories and unresolved emotions. The sun kisses her skin gently as she stands by the river. She just stares at the beautiful forest. From where she is standing she can see Maz’s castle. She was merciful enough to let this place be a free zone. Why she did it, she is not sure also.

Without realizing, her feet guide her towards the forest. It’s painful. Long ago she used to run away from the pain, from suffering, but now? Now she embraces it. 

**

 **One standard year after the Battle of Exegol**  
  
_Maz just hugs her. She doesn’t say “are you okay?” “why so sad, Rey? We won!” “why are you so quiet?” “is everything alright?” “did something happen?” “why are you crying?”. Rey hates these questions more than anything else. They were supposed to be her family. They were supposed to know her. They were supposed to understand her. They were supposed to be- yes. Just supposed to, because in reality they aren’t and they don’t._

_Rey tries not to cry in Maz’s arms, but she always does. Maz is the only one that never asks her these questions. Even Chewie sometimes nudges her and asks something in those lines and her only answer is a weak smile, but she loves the wookie so she doesn’t say anything else. She knows he worries and she is grateful._

_But Maz is different. She understands Rey’s pain. She knows why she’s suffering so much. Rey can feel that she’s the only one that knows that she’s just half a person now. Half a soul._  
  
_So, they just hug. It’s soothing. In these precious moments Rey feels her impending anger subside. She feels a little better. With Maz she allows herself to grieve._

_The first time she came to Maz she was feeling so lost she couldn’t even voice what she wanted. Maz just said “I know” and opened her arms to Rey and ever since, every time Rey came to her, she just opened her arms, accepting all her sadness and all the ugliness that came with it._

_This is exactly what Rey needs. Silence and a little comfort. She’s not ready to talk. Well, not ready to talk about him. She thinks she never will be. How could she? She can’t even sleep anymore. Every time she closes her eyes she sees his face. She sees his smile. His piercing eyes. And then… she sees him vanishing. Just like that. One moment she can feel the warmth of his hands in hers and the next- nothing. An emptiness so painful she can’t process. Her brain refuses to accept it._

_So, she closes herself. It’s the only way she knows how to cope with losses. So many losses and this is the worst one._

**

It hurts. She stops at the exact same place she first met him. The meeting that changed her life and herself forever. Not meeting BB-8, not meeting Finn, not leaving Jakku, not meeting Han. Meeting him. That was the turning point of her life. Her black boots leave a mark at the fresh grass. She puts her hands atop the same rock that served as a stage for the first time they really saw each other. The wind blows her long and unrestrained hair. She closes her eyes and lets herself drown in all her emotions. 

Fear. 

Loneliness. 

Pain. 

Suffering. 

Profound sadness. 

Coldness. 

Abandonment.

Hate.

She opens her eyes, breathing heavily. She feels powerful right now, totally connected to the force around her in a dark way. Everything surrounding her is dying. The grass is brown, not fresh anymore but dry and broken, just like her. The earth is turning to sand. There is no wind blowing, no birds chirping, no sun shining. She feeds herself from the misery of the forest. It hurts so much. 

But she wants this. She wants it to hurt. She needs to feel this pain. She needs to feel something.

Leaves begin to fall from the nearest trees. She looks up, all of them are dead. Drained from life. Terminated. 

A signature in the force startles her. She looks around and sees a glimpse of something that could be the back of a man walking away, a black cloak leaving a thin trace behind. What? She is running in a beat. She runs till she can’t breathe. 

Nothing. 

She screams at the top of her lungs. She screams over and over again. She only stops when she realizes she has no voice left. Her knees give in and she stays there. Alone.

**

**Almost two standard years after the Battle of Exegol**

_She remembers the first time she tried to explain to her friends what she was feeling and why she was acting that way. She told them everything she knew wouldn’t hurt too much. She made it clear that if it wasn’t for Ben Solo she would not be there, alive. They were surprised, they said “ow, we understand, we had no idea.”_

_But time passed and as the days went by she was convinced it was impossible to feel any better. She tried though. She smiled, she ate, she did what people expected her to do. For a long time she felt nothing, she was numb. Her moments with Maz were the only ones that gave her some kind of relief. She felt miserable all the time. And she couldn’t help it, but not everyone was okay with it._

_It took her a while but she realized that her so called family had lied to her. They didn’t understand. She knew it every time she was caught crying by herself and Poe would look at her with questioning eyes. She knew every time she was silent during a conversation and Finn kept huffing at her. She knew every time Rose avoided being alone with her for too long. She felt more and more like she had no one._

_Anger was little by little replacing her sadness. Having no more tears to cry she started yelling at everyone with no reason whatsoever. She stopped trying to talk to people. She never again smiled. She never reached out to Maz again. She stopped caring._

_So one day, almost two years after the battle against Palpatine - after her soul was severed - she finally couldn’t take it anymore:_

_She was working on the ship she wanted to call her own, it was different and a little difficult to develop. Chewie was helping her, he was one of the few she could stand, he took care of her and many times they shared in silence how much they missed the Organa-Solo family._

_Rey was amusingly watching a porg mess up Chewie tools, things were fine… until they weren’t anymore._

_“Rey!” Finn shouted, calling to her. She looked up and saw him running towards her, Poe and Rose behind, the three of them talking easily. Every time she saw them this way she felt more distant from them, she felt like falling into an endless pit. She just stared, her anger bubbling already. He continued. “It happened! The last supporters of the First Order were captured! A new Senate is going to be elected tomorrow! Isn’t it great??” Finn’s big smile only annoyed her to no end._

_“So?” Was her only answer. She didn’t care!_

_“What do you mean, so?” He spited the word. “Rey, this is what we’ve been fighting for all this time, we did it!”_

_She held her tongue. Were they really this blind? Couldn’t they see a Senate wouldn’t bring her any kind of joy? Couldn’t they see how much she wish she’d died with Ben? Life had no sense for her anymore and it sure wasn’t a political maneuver that was going to make things better._

_She sighed, irritated. “Look, I have a lot to do here, okay?”_

_She could tell they were a little taken aback by her reaction and now even Chewie was paying attention at their exchange. But what was she supposed to do? To say? What kind of action would be the right one? Was there even such a thing? A right way to behave with your closest friends?_

_She saw Rose opening her mouth and Rey just knew Rose’s words would be “it’s okay, Rey, we can talk later” but she never got the chance because Finn beat her to it._

_“NO. It’s not okay!”_

_“Man, just-” Poe tried._

_“NO! I’ve had enough of this!” He was almost shouting. Rey didn’t even flinch. “Someone has to say something, right? Rey-” he inhaled deeply “What’s going on? Why do you keep shutting us out?”_

_They waited for her to answer. So she did. “You don’t understand.”_

_“Rey, how can we understand if you don’t tell us what’s the problem?” Poe said sounding strange, like he would if he was talking to a child. It raged her… and Finn made it worse:_

_“Is this still about Ren?” His voice low and his eyes narrowed._

_“Don’t call him that.” Her answer carried a threat so clear that if she had said nothing they would- should still fear her. She felt the force around her shift and inside her an ache - like a bad tooth that would never heal - throbbed. It was torture. She still felt him every day, every night, but not his presence. No. Just the void he left her to wallow within. So yes, she couldn’t stand anyone talking about him and the way Finn did… she felt murderous._

_“Oh, great! How should I call him, then? The father kille-”_

_It happened so fast. She didn’t think, she just reacted. She heard her own scream of anger. She saw her hands shooting lighting. She saw Finn yelling and falling. She heard Chewie calling her. She lowered her hands and was met with everyone staring at her, eyes bulging. She could tell Finn was okay, but the look he was giving her... It hurt. And she asked herself why everything had to hurt so much all the time._

_She had tears on her face. “I-” she tried but she had no voice._

_“Rey-” Rose began but Rey just turned away from them and started running._

_They shouted her name. She didn’t look back. The force around her was cackling, vibrating. She was controlling herself because if she was true to her own emotions, she would have to admit that it felt good what she did. In that brief moment her pain had subsided a little, it was like she could breathe again lashing out like that. It was clear that the more she kept this hidden inside, the more she suffered._

_She stopped. Her mind racing, she was extremely unbalanced. She fell on her knees and started crying tears she thought were gone forever. “Be with me. Be with me. Ben, be with me. Please, please, please, please, Ben!”_

_The memory of his smile and the feel of his arms around her haunted her. An eternity passed but she just stood there. Alone._

**

She leaves Takodana and is soon landing at the island she sometimes wishes would vanish from existence. She probably is the only person in the entire Galaxy that knows of this place. The force here feels different and that’s exactly what she needs.

She wastes no time looking around. She dives again inside the cave she once went seeking answers. The darkness is welcoming, comforting. She sits there - between the water and the crystal wall behind her - grabs her lightsaber and puts it in front of her - in an instant she is lost inside herself, meditating.

**

  
**Three standard years after the Battle of Exegol**

_They never talk about what happened and Rey realizes she doesn’t want to. They barely speak to her now, she doesn’t care. She takes her stuff and the ship she’s developing away from their base. She’s sure another conversation about the Senate and the new Democracy would push her to her edge again._

_She controls the force inside her the best she can. She counts days again even if she’s not sure why. Chewie is the only one she still sees and talk to. Her ship is almost ready and her only wish is to fly. Fly away._

_She barely trains anymore. Then, one day, she is surprised to see Leia’s force ghost._

_“Hi, Rey.”_

_“Leia…” It’s almost a whisper. She wants to hug her, badly. The force is shifting, Leia comes closer to her and Rey breathes with ease, her pain just a vibration at the back of her mind. She can think more clearly and the only thing she thinks about is Ben. She’s obsessed._

_“How have you been, my dear?”_

_“I miss him. So much.”_

_“I know.”_

_“Why?”_

_“Why, what?”_

_“I keep thinking about that day and I still don’t understand why he died… he shouldn’t have, our bond was life itself.” She watches Leia cautiously. “Doesn’t make sense.”_

_“True. But he saved you, he made the ultimate sacrifice, he gave you his life.”_

_“I wish he wouldn’t have.”_

_“I understand, Rey, but I don’t think my son would live even a minute without you.”_

_“So why did he think **I** would???” _

_Rey starts crying, Leia is silent._

_“Argh! I can’t stand this anymore!” Rey screams. “I wake up thinking about him. I spend my day thinking about him, longing for him, seeing his face, hearing his voice. I go to sleep and I dream about him.”_

_“Dear-”_

_“I saw it.” She’s staring at the floor of her little cabin, transfixed, remembering. “I saw our future, solid and clear, and beautiful” her eyes close “so beautiful.” She whispers. “It isn’t fair.”_

_“Tell me about it. About this future.”_

_“He held me, all the time, close to his heart and I could feel his warmth and sense his light. Two children surrounded us. I saw them. Our children. They had a force signature similar to ours, our bond involving them. I felt complete, happy. At home. And this was taken from me, this life. I will never get to live it.”_

_Rey can see Leia pursing her lips, uncomfortable, considering, and as she observes her, her mind is yelling at her, urging her to ask a question she’s extremely afraid of the answer. Leia probably senses her conflict._

_“What is it?”_

_She decides she needs to know. “Is he with you? He- he never appeared to me. Could you ask him to? Just once?” her voice is little and she feels like a frightened child again._

_Leia blinks, surprised. “What- Rey, no, no, he’s not with me. I don’t think he became one with the force… I’m sorry, dear.”_

_“What?” Rey is startled. “But… he vanished… right in front of me, Leia! Where is he then?”_

_“I- I don’t know…”_

_“You don’t know?” Rey is almost yelling now. “And you never- You never tried to find out where your only son is?” Her anger is at the surface now. It’s too much, he deserved more, so much more. From everyone._

_“Rey, certain things are beyond our understanding.”_

_Her mind is working fast. “If he’s not one with the force then he isn’t dead! Don’t you see?”_

_“There’s no way to be sure of that.”_

_“Unless…”_

_She searches her things, papers and clothes are thrown aimlessly. She stops when she’s holding an yellow book she once took from an island. “There’s a place… a place Luke writes about, it’s called ‘World Between Worlds’. What if he’s there? What if- What if I can bring him back?”_

_Her whole expression changes at the mere thought, because of course she will do it. She will bring him back. Yes._

_“You can’t bring him back. It’s impossible, Rey.”_

_“I will find a way.”_

_And before Leia says anything else, Rey closes herself to her, willing the force to obey her, shutting out Leia’s light. She’s left only with her anger and that little darkness that hunts her everyday now._

**

She’s in deep meditation, aware of herself, of her darkness and her power. She watches her saber floating in front of her. She remembers when the bright yellow turned red and how she bled it so much it turned black. So much killing. So much suffering… however she feels safe, this kind of pain is the only thing she identifies with. 

Breathing slowly she struggles to bury away her feelings and emotions. She wants to lock them inside mazes she created in her own head. Bury them so deep there’s no way for the to come out. 

What happened, the way she lost her control, is never going to happen again. Those ghosts and the way those siblings made her uncomfortable are unacceptable. 

She has to test their loyalty. She shivers a little. They remind her of someone. 

**

  
_She wasted no time. After her encounter with Leia she fled to Ahch-to. Luke’s notes made it clear he believed a portal to the ‘World Between Worlds’ could exist at the island. She has a feeling where the portal might be, and as soon as she dives inside the cave, the force and the darkness she now carries are in tune. It soothes her._

_She stares at the crystal wall that she thought had answers for her and as she sees herself reflected she realizes she’s not that same girl anymore. As a powerful woman she stands there, seeking what she desires, fulfilling her journey in trying to find her other half. Her home._

_She’s not sure how she’ll cross this portal and before she can try anything:_

_“Not gonna work.” Luke’s voice echos through the cave, he’s standing close to the crystal wall, facing her. She’s annoyed. All her feelings in a turmoil because of the dark that tries to seduce her._

_“I didn’t ask your opinion.”_

_“It’s not an opinion, just a fact.”_

_She ignores him and closes her eyes, concentrating. Nothing happens._

_“Rey.” Luke says by her side, she jumps in a scare._

_“Go away!” It’s her only answer._

_“He’s not there.”_

_She stares at him. Is he telling the truth? She can’t tell. “How do you know? If he’s not there, then where is he? TELL ME!” She just snaps._

_Luke sighs. “You have to understand that there’s nothing you can do. He’s gone. You shouldn’t be here, don’t forget you’re a Skywalker now.”_

_“STOP! ENOUGH!” She loses it. “STOP TELLING ME WHAT TO DO. STOP TRYING TO MAKE ME FILL THE ROLE YOU THINK FITS ME BEST. HE IS NOT GONE! AND I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU DO OR SAY. I WILL BRING HIM BACK.”_

_And she closes herself. The force around her obeying in a way she never imagined. She commands Luke to vanish and the more she opens up to her pain, the more she feels grounded, powerful. It’s like she owns everything around her, everything the force touches. Just later she realizes it was the dark that allowed her to feel that way. It surprises her that she doesn’t mind._  
  
_So she stays on Ahch-to. Everyday she meditates inside the cave trying to find the portal, trying to find him, feel him. She explores the force. She explores her darkness and she feels good about it. Her frustration grows each day. There’s nothing there but she doesn’t know where to go and now, seduced by the dark, she wants to stay inside it. She finds herself manipulating the force easily, always getting what she wants from it._

_After a while she starts having visions. At first, they happen fast, in a blink, so she doesn’t register anything but when they begin to torment her, she thinks she might go insane. She sees herself and Ben together. She sees those children, over and over again. She sees them growing old, the four of them. She asks herself if this kind of torture will end someday._

_Will ever come a day she won’t long for a life she can’t have?_

_First with her parents, and now with Ben. Once she lived longing for a past that never returned to her and now she longs for a future that probably won’t happen._

_Will ever come a day she will find happiness?_

_She is tired… so she does the unthinkable. Reaching out inside the dark she finds a singular signature she knew it would be there._

_He appears to her after a few tries and she can only smirk a little. Of course he isn’t dead. She concludes his essence will never leave the dark side of the force._

_“Hello, granddaughter.” His voice is soft while carrying all his irony. “Took you long enough.”_

_He’s nothing like the Palpatine she remembers defeating on Exegol. He looks younger and brighter. “It annoys me a little that you seem to be immortal.” She says in a low voice, then higher: “Can I bring him back?”_

_“So anxious.” He walks around the cave where she reached out to him. “Uh, so much darkness in here. Cozy. You know, darkness suits you… you look more confident, I’m glad, really.”_

_“Enough. Just answer me.”_

_Deep inside she knows she can’t trust him, but if there is even a small chance she can bring Ben back… she’s sure Palpatine is the one that can tell her how. She watches him staring at her. His eyes are so sharp. She shivers._

_“Well… there’s an old Sith tale that talks about bringing those dead back to life with the powerful darkness, so of course you can bring him back, but the question is, where is he?” He clasps his hands together. “You see, the Galaxy is so big… there are so many force sensitive beings out there, certainly someone knows. Don’t you think?” He smiles creepily._

_“Tell me more.”_

_“Gladly. But, are you going to believe me? I would never lie to you… my only family.”_

_She doesn’t react. It’s been months she’s exploring her darkness and she’s comfortable with it, Palpatine’s words can’t get to her the same way they once did. But still…_

_“You are not my family.”_

_“Oh, no? Curious. Are the Skywalker’s, then? Or those imbeciles of the Resistance?” He purses his lips. “Honestly, you should know better. What a shame for a Palpatine to call herself a Skywalker. Don’t be ashamed of who you are.”_

_“I don’t call myself that anymore. I know very well who I am and that’s enough. I don’t need you or anyone else telling me who I should be.”_

_He has a smile on his face, his eyes little because of it. “Very well. So, you want your dyad back…” In an instant his whole expression shifts, he looks dangerous. “Grow stronger in the force, use it, bend it the way you want, kill anyone that stands in your way if you have to, destroy everything if you have to. Conquer. Have no mercy, they don’t deserve it. Think about everything you went through-”_

_“That’s not what I want. I just want him back.”_

_“You won’t get what you want unless you are the most powerful being in the Galaxy. You have to destroy those sensitive with the force. Gather an army, start a new order. If you are so tired of everyone trying to tell you what to do or how to act, make them fear you. Make them suffer!”_

_“I won’t fall for your tricks.”_

_“Are you sure this is a trick, granddaughter?”_

_“This was pointless.”_

_“You know I’m right.”_

_“Why do I have to be the most powerful force user to bring him back? He wasn’t and he brought me back.”_

_“The circumstances are different now. Do as I say and you’ll have him back. I suggest you start your search in a planet called Santiv.”_

_And he’s gone._

_She’s left there with more questions. Could he be telling the truth? She shouldn’t trust him or even the dark side but what good came from trusting the Jedi and the light? She lost everything to it, ending just like she started, alone, misunderstood and now hollow, missing half of herself._

_A vision of a little girl she knows is her daughter invades her mind. The beautiful girl is smiling at her, reaching out and trying to catch her hands. It breaks Rey’s heart. She should know this happiness. She decides she will, no matter what it takes._

_She leaves Ahch-to and starts her path of destruction across the Galaxy._

**

She finds the siblings at a common area of the castle, they look surprised by her abrupt arrival. She knows exactly the mission she will give them.

“Pollus, Allegra.” 

“Empress.” They reply.

“I have a mission for you. It won’t be an official mission for the Order. This is a direct request. There’s a planet, Takodana. I want you to go there and destroy everything. Kill everyone.”

They are silent. Rey watches them carefully. They look obedient but Rey catches an almost inexistent twitch under Allegra’s left eye. _Will she question my order?_ Allegra takes a breathe to say something. _She will. Interesting._

“But isn’t Takodana a free zone?” 

“Are you questioning my orders, Allegra?”

“She isn’t.” Pollus is faster in answering. Rey snaps at him.

“I want her to answer, not you. Do that again and it will be the last thing you do.”

“I’m not questioning your authority, Empress. I wouldn’t dare.” Allegra says. “I was just… curious.”

Rey feels Allegra’s intentions and decides she’s true to her words. “It’s a free zone, that’s why this is a personal request. Go and destroy everything. Now.”

They just nod curtly and leave. Rey realizes her uneasiness comes from Allegra’s reaction. She’s sure she recognizes that twitch under the woman’s eye.


	5. Worthiness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, self quarantine will help me update this more often!!   
> I hope you are all alright and taking care of yourself in this difficult moment. But it will pass, we'll get through this!   
> .  
> .  
> Well, well... this one is all Ben.

It seems impossible to keep a smile from his face. There are days his cheeks hurt from the excessive happiness he feels. His son is bright and curious, always talking and searching new things to do, Ben encourages it even if Pollus destroys everything. His daughter is quieter, she just watches things unfold most of the time and only speaks when something is extremely important.

Pollus is now five and Allegra three. They fight all the time but Ben can sense through the force how much they love each other. He still thinks that physically Pollus is just a male version of Rey, his eyes and his hair are totally hers. Allegra on the other hand, still very young, is a mixture of both. Ben is glad neither inherited his ears. 

He still sings, he discovered he likes it very much. Every night both of them ask dada to sing about mama. Ben is not sure how much they understand, but they accept what he tells them: their mother is alive and well but she can’t be with them right now. Ben assures them that they will meet one day, and the four of them will be very happy. 

It’s like any other day, Ben has already done his exercises and meditation and now reads while Pollus is playing with the force and Allegra is drawing by his side, but Ben can’t concentrate, he’s sensing something strange and not knowing what it is makes him very uncomfortable. He’s sure it involves Rey. He asks himself if she can sense him, sense their bond. He can. Of course not the same way he did when he was alive, but he feels it. Some times stronger than others. He misses her. What is happening? For once he wishes the First would appear, that annoying dyad that keeps testing his humor. Well, at least the children love them, they always laugh their asses off manipulating the force. Most times Ben finds it funny and stimulating and he even participates, others, however, he just watches from afar, his mind going crazy with questions he had not yet voiced but that he knows the First already heard from inside his mind.

He can’t stop himself from wondering what is the purpose of all this. Why is he here? How much time has passed since Exegol? Pollus is so big already. The First hasn’t explained to him yet exactly how time passes in the in-between, they just told him that it’s different from the world of the living. Different how? Is he here only to come back later? But why? Why and, most importantly, how is he living with his children inside a place Rey created with her light to keep him alive? How are his kids alive? He knows for sure he and Rey didn’t have the time nor the opportunity to procreate, he wouldn’t forget that in a million years. So, how?

It annoys him that he only knows what the First wants him to know. He only tolerates everything because of Pollus and Allegra. He watches them and without warning, every now and then, images of his own father and mother invade his mind. They are good memories though and Ben feels a kind of sorrow that he allows himself to, because while it hurts it heals a little. He’s trying. Now, with his kids loving him and looking at him like he’s the best thing in the whole galaxy, he imagines how much he hurt his parents knowing at the same time that they unintentionally made some big mistakes with him. And that’s okay. It’s difficult. So he promised himself, five years ago when Pollus came to him, that he wouldn’t make the same mistakes, even if he’s sure he will make others. 

He’s overwhelmed by how much he loves them and by the intensity of his protection towards them. He would easily, without a thought, kill and die for them. Just a few days ago Allegra smashed her little toes against a desk and Ben almost pulverized the poor object into oblivion. He chuckles and thinks of Rey… she would do the same… his little feral other half. 

He can tell something is off and apparently he’s not the only one. He sees Pollus coming at him, the little boy has a frown on his face and he sits at Ben’s lap. He’s quiet for a while and Ben senses all his distress through the force. Then, he asks “Dada, why do I feel so strange?”

From the corner of his eyes, Ben sees Allegra’s attention shift towards them. “Strange how?” He soothes Pollus with a circular movement on his little back.

“It feels cold, odd.” He’s frightened. 

“Hey, hey… son, it’s okay.” Pollus is silently crying now. It breaks Ben’s heart. He hugs him. “I’m here, everything is gonna be alright, there’s nothing wrong. Dada is here.” He keeps saying those things as he rocks Pollus back and forth on his lap. Then he looks up and sees his tiny but already so strong daughter crying too… by herself. “’Gra, come here, sweetie.” She goes to him slowly. 

“I feel it too, dada.” 

He cradles both in his long arms, shielding them from whatever is happening. They stay that way for a while and Ben tries to reach out through the force. It’s extremely hard. Using the force inside this dome created in the in-between is easy, but trying to reach outside of it… He hates and loves it at the same time. He enjoys a challenge. He buries his face into Allegra’s hair, her smell, so familiar and comforting makes it easier for him to focus. 

The way he sees it, the force is a shining thread that flows through air surrounding everything and when he bends it to his will the thread shows him what he wants and do what he desires. And right now there’s only one thing he wants… Rey. Even if their bond is not the same anymore and he only feels what he calls a shadow of what it once were, that’s not enough to stop him, he pushes through. Ben suspects this has something to do with her and he needs to know. He has his eyes closed so he doesn’t see the look of total awe his children are giving him. They can probably feel his force signature expanding. After all these years in the in-between he never tried reaching out, he always thought it would be better for her if she didn’t feel him at all… and to be honest, he never thought he could do it. However, right now, his- their children are suffering. He has to do it. 

He keeps pushing and a flash of a familiar place fills his mind. Takodana. From far away, he sees her. She’s hugging Maz and crying… a lot. He calls to her through their bond but there’s nothing on the other end, only a hollowness. They are so close and yet worlds apart. But he was right, she’s in agony and the little ones can feel it. He tries again to reach out somehow and this time he feels a subtle change in the force. He notices Maz is looking directly at where he is. Can she see him? 

He opens his eyes, exhausted. Noticing how worried Pollus and Allegra are, he immediately smiles.

“Do you guys feel better?” 

They nod. 

“Good! Shower time!”

Pollus walks towards the bathroom complaining but Allegra stays with Ben. She’s watching him. Ben is sure she can’t understand much but he knows she can feel him very well through the force, she has an incredible sensitivity. She puts her little hand on his cheek and says “It’s okay, dada, I’m here.” He wants to cry but he nods and gets up taking her to the bathroom. 

This doesn’t happen again for five long years.

___

The annoying dyad waits ten years to tell Ben everything. 

He’s sparring with Pollus. Allegra is waiting for her turn. In a physical combat they are similar in every way, but when they practice with fake lightsabers Pollus always wins easily. It annoys Allegra and Ben finds it endearing. As they go Ben instructs his son. “Keep your core stable.” “Open stance.” “Strike faster.” He never lets them win and sometimes he thinks it’s a little harsh to do that however when they eventually win - and he’s sure it will happen - they will know that it was because they really did it. 

They learn fast and Ben couldn’t be prouder. He’s sure Rey would be too. A few days ago he taught them how to hide their feelings in the force, how to mask some intentions and even their force signature. They immediately understood and that is why Ben is having a little hard time right now to win his fake lightsaber fight with his ten year old son. Pollus is fast and resourceful and he uses the force very well. He doesn’t look like Rey anymore - except for the hair and the greenish eyes, he’s a Ben miniature. 

Ben's struggling to win but the First appears, interrupting the fight. 

“Uncle! Aunt!” Allegra shrieks. She hugs them.

“Sweetie, they are not your uncle and aunt.” Ben says through his teeth. 

“Ah, Skywalker, always a pleasure.” The First responds. “How are you?” They ask Pollus and Allegra, ignoring Ben. 

Ben watches them interact. Like every time the First comes his mind is burning with questions. How is she? What’s happening with the living? What’s his purpose here? Why is he raising his kids without Rey? How do they even exist? Why, why, how, when-

“Stop it Solo, your mind is driving us crazy.” They sit at the floor with Pollus and Allegra, they are at the arena they use to train and meditate. 

Ben sits too but he feels strange. Something is wrong, he recognizes the feeling, it’s the same he had five years ago, the only time he reached out to Rey. 

“What is it, Solo?” 

“Rey, she’s not-” 

He stops. It’s terrible. The bond, always there feels empty for a moment and a sense of despair invades him. Then everything goes black. 

“Solo, Solo… Ben, wake up!” 

The First, Pollus and Allegra all look at him laying on the floor. He sits. “I’m sorry, Rey-”

“We know. We know. Everything is fine now.” 

“What happened?”

“There are times she’s suffering so deep she wants to die and she does it subconsciously going to a place so dark and inside that you all can feel it. But don’t worry, this doesn’t happen all the time.” They observe him. Pollus is clearly worried, but Allegra only listens quietly. “Ben, we think it’s time to finally answer a few questions.”

He eyes them suspiciously. 

“Go ahead. Ask that question that you think of every day.”

“Pollus, Allegra, go to your room.”

“No. They stay. They need to hear everything.” 

They look a little unsure. Should they obey their father or the First? Allegra is looking at him, asking with her eyes. She’s so intelligent and special it warms his heart. He just nods and they both relax. Ben inhales deeply and asks what he wants to know. “How are they here? And why?”

“Remember that first day we met? Ten years ago? After you died?” Pollus and Allegra gasp. “Yes, well… we told you we can do basically anything… like travel through time and space.” Ben nods. “We brought them from a different dimension of existence.”

“What? But, what-” 

“Look, let us finish then ask away. Imagine it like this, every decision we ever make change our lives forever and in this dimension of existence, you and Rey had this kind of end but in others dimensions things are different. Believe us, there are many dimensions out there existing parallel to this one. In one of them you never went dark and Rey grew up in a world where Palpatine’s son was an evil king and she a dark princess; in another dimension you two met at a Jedi academy; there’s even a dimension where she took your offer on ruling the Galaxy together.” Ben’s jaw is dropping. “So, Pollus and Allegra came from a dimension where you two are together-”

“But it doesn’t make sense! You took them from them- from us! It’s absurd. It’s insane.” Ben gets up, fuming. “So what are you saying? Am I living this but those happy Ben and Rey from another dimension had their kids… what? Kidnapped? By a crazy dyad?” He finishes screaming.

“Are you done? You are so dramatic…”

“Explain!” 

Pollus and Allegra are still quiet, watching everything and trying to understand what’s happening.

“Ben, a dyad like you and Rey, so perfectly matched and unique is rare, very rare. For the force to be balanced the dyad must be together and complete in every dimension of existence otherwise is just another waste of the dyad and another crack in the force, troubling it again for years and years, never ending this harmful cycle of unbalanced darkness and light. We explained everything to this other version of yourself and Rey and they agreed to it. Besides, if things turn out alright at the end, time will turn back and Pollus and Allegra will go back to their dimension.” 

“If what things turn out alright?”

“Well, you weren’t supposed to die, Ben. You must go back. Pollus and Allegra are here because they are key to bringing Rey back to the light and are key to taking you back to the living. If you and Rey can, even after everything, find each other and finally be the dyad you should be, things will finally be alright.”

“Are they meeting her?” 

“Yes, but it will take years. Ben, only two years passed in the world of the living since Exegol. Each five years here is a year there. Rey is feeling the pull to the dark side but she still has a long way down this path.” 

Ben walks around, messing his hair in a nervous habit. “It still doesn’t make sense to me.”

“Honestly, does being able to manipulate something called the force makes sense? Does us - beings of light, a dyad - existing makes sense? Does it has to? Think about it, many things in life don’t make sense but we still believe in them, we still live by them. Trust us, Ben Solo, it is what it is, and it makes sense. We’ve traveled through time and space, we’ve seen the future and the past, we’ve seen others dimensions, everything it could have been, this is the only one that things went wrong, we have to fix it.” 

“But if you have seen the future you already know what happens.”

“Yes and no. The future is a funny tricky thing. Very difficult to understand. But we can change it, as we speak the future is happening depending on what the present is. The same way the present is made by the past.”

“If we… if we succeed in this dimension, will they, will my children exist here?” He looks at them. They are so obedient, so smart and so strong. Ben wants to cry and scream at the same time.

“Yes, of course. With a few differences just like they exist in every dimension. Just like you and Rey exist in others dimensions but your essence never change, your soul is always the same. Always one.”

“How is she? Right now?” This question is always burning inside him.

“She’s struggling. She misses you and she doesn’t understand her emotions, darkness is slowly taking over, not so long ago she left her friends, she’s alone now. So in a way, things will move faster and you have to prepare them.” They point at Pollus and Allegra.

“Prepare them?”

“Yes. Before you go back, they will meet her, but believe us, she won’t be the same Rey you once knew. They need to train, learn everything from the force, practice all kinds of combat, study all the history, understand the world they are going into, it’s the only way. At first, their mere presence around Rey will be enough to low her defenses, she won’t realize it’s happening and that will be the first opening to her, the longer they stay with her, the more she trusts them the better. When she's confused enough, that's the moment you go back. It’s actually very simple: just bring her back to the light. But Ben, it won’t be easy. You died and your dyad never had the chance to live to its full purpose, to its full balance. You’ll have to find this balance, only then time will go back and you’ll be given another chance, it will be like you never died.”

“But how is that even possible?”

“That’s a good question. Only if you succeed you will have the answer.” They smile. 

“I will do it.” Pollus’ voice surprises everyone. “She’s my mother. I want to do it.” He has a fierce look on his face. His chest puffed. Such a Solo boy.

“I will do it too.” Allegra’s expression is one of confusion. “But I want you to tell us everything dad, stop hiding things from us. You died? Where are we exactly?” 

The dyad laughs. “Well, I’m sure your father here is anxious to have this conversation with you but that’s for later. Now, we have a present for you.” 

They tremble a little and from thin air kyber crystals appear at their extended hands. “These are for you, it’s time to have a real lightsaber. Green for you, Pollus. White for you, Allegra.” 

They each grab a crystal, their enthusiasm filling the space. 

Ben is crying now not caring if anyone notice. It’s such a beautiful moment. They are so big already. The First turns to him. “This one is for you.” And they hand him a purple crystal. “A fresh start. You deserve it.” 

It’s the first time in ten years he wants to hug the dyad but instead he only opens his hand to catch the crystal, it’s heavy in his palm, just like he remembers. He feels like the young Ben Solo he once were. “Thank you.” He says. 

They nod. “Well, bye kids, see you soon! Ben, you should begin their training tomorrow. Keep in mind that the most important thing is to teach them how to hide their force signature.” And just like that they are gone.

___

At twelve Pollus finally finishes putting together his lightsaber. He adores the cross at the hilt, he feels close to his father, a man he idolizes. Ben smiles at him, so proud he can feel the emotion exploding inside his chest. 

“I love you so much, son. Congratulations, a lightsaber is vital for a force user.” He avoids the words Jedi and Sith with them. He doesn’t believe in that anymore and he’s neither a Jedi nor a Sith, he’s just Ben, someone in sync with the force, just like them. 

“Thanks, dad.” Pollus ignites his lightsaber and smiles brightly. 

A noise and a complain come from across the arena. “Ow, shit!” 

“Allegra! Mouth…”

“Sorry, it’s just that-” she sighs. “I don’t think I’ll ever be able to finish this! I can’t! I give up!” She cries a bit and Ben’s sure is from anger, pieces of her lightsaber scattered in front of her. “But I’m happy for you, bro.” It’s a murmur. 

Pollus laughs and goes to her, sitting by her side. “I know you are jealous right now, but don’t worry, you’ll finish it, I’m sure.” He places a hand on her shoulder.

“Do you really think so?” He nods and she wipes away a few tears. “Thanks. What about you, dad?” She looks at him shyly, almost ashamed. 

Ben crouches to be at eye level with her. “You are amazing. I’m so proud and lucky to be your father. It takes time, sweetie, you can’t always expect to do everything perfectly on the first try.” He smirks. They usually joke about Allegra’s need to be perfect. 

“I love you, dad.” She hugs him. 

“Me too, sunshine.” 

“I love you too, bro.” She says, her voice muffled by Ben’s chest where she rests her face. Pollus comes and hugs them too. 

“Yeah, yeah” He says. 

When moments like these happen Ben’s mind always goes to Rey. If she has to fall to the dark for them to have a chance to have a life like this, with their kids, then it shall be. He will bring her back to the light. They will. 

___

A few days later Allegra yells in triumph. Her lightsaber ignited, its white almost blinding. Ben and Pollus cheer. She dances around, celebrating and they all laugh. Ben has no words, but he knows she feels all his admiration for her through the force. She smiles brightly and it’s so similar to the smile Rey gave him the last moment they were together that Ben’s chest aches a little. There are times Allegra is just like him and others she’s all Rey, but he never says this to her. Ben realized a time ago that his daughter has some issues with Rey, if it’s with what she represents or with her absence, he’s not sure. Ben doesn’t push it but he’s sure trying to solve this mystery. 

“Dad! I made it! Now only yours left!”

He flinches a little. He’s been avoiding this, he doesn’t want to build his lightsaber but they keep pushing him. And he’s out of excuses. “Yeah, okay, you already did yours, why are you so interested in mine?”

“Because you must have one too!” Pollus says. 

“Yeah, dad! How will you fight without one?”

“Just tell them everything, Ben.” It’s the First.

“Ah, come on!” Ben complains. 

The First laughs. “Hey there!! Wow! Allegra, it looks amazing!” 

They talk about both lightsabers and practice a little. Ben sits down to meditate, his mind going over the many reasons why he doesn’t want to build a new lightsaber. 

After a while he feels watched so he opens one eye to peak. The First, Allegra and Pollus are all in front of him, watching and waiting. 

“Oh good, he opened his eye, we can talk now.” The First says. “Ben, your kids have some questions for you!” 

Ben shouts _bastards_ inside his head. But even screaming on the inside, fatherhood taught him that his feelings sometimes - _all the time_ \- comes second. “Ask away, kids.” He decides to be completely honest with them.

“Why don’t you want to build a lightsaber?” Allegra goes right to his throat.

“Okay, guys, the deal is… I don’t think I really deserve it.” There. It was out. He felt a little better, but also a little foolish because, didn’t he? Deserve it? 

“Of course you do, dad!” Pollus exclaims. “You are the best force user I’ve ever known!” 

The First laughs. “Well, are you offending us, kid? We are way better.”

“Of course not, my dad is the best!”

Pollus’ ferocity warms Ben giving him more courage to tell them everything. 

“Why, dad?” Allegra asks. 

“Well, I never truly wanted to be a big force user, you know? When I was little everything I wanted was to be just like my father. He was a great pilot. The best, really.” He smiles. “You kids would love him to death…” He stops, the silence speaking volumes. They wait. “But things went the other way and my mother sent me to train with her brother… I had to learn the ways of the force. As you’ve already realized I’m pretty good with it.” He winks at them, both paying the utmost attention. “But I was angry all the time… I didn’t feel I belonged, it was like something was always missing, like nothing would ever be enough, so… things got a little out of control. Today I understand that at first I never did anything wrong, but someone made me believe I was unworthy of the most beautiful things in life, kids. And listen to me, don’t you ever let anyone make you believe you are not worthy. You are. Very much so, okay?” They nod. Ben’s crying. “I felt terrible and did things I’m not proud of… one of these things was the way I treated my lightsaber. I don’t think I should be even allowed to have a new one.” He looks at the First, but it’s Allegra who speaks:

“Dad, I don’t know what you did and I don’t care. I love you and I think you deserve to have a new lightsaber. It’s part of who you are.” 

He’s a little stunned by her words. She’s such a grown up trapped inside a child.

“Yes, dad, doesn’t matter. Don’t you always say to us when we get something wrong that we are lucky to have another chance to get it right? Isn’t this the same thing?” Pollus asks. “And for us, you are totally worthy!” 

Pollus and Allegra hug him, he cries like a child. His kids are healing a wound so long forgotten and yet so painful. He regrets many things. He grew up thinking he wasn’t worthy of love, of belonging, of forgiveness. But he is. He’s sure now that he is. And these kids, his own blood, are his whole world. And Rey. She was the first one to ever extend a hand to him despite everything he did. He’s worthy of them, he wants to be.

___

At fifteen Pollus is a typical male teenager. Ben’s lucky to be trapped with them in the in-between because he knows how much a teenager in a galaxy full of possibilities can be troublesome. 

He worries about Allegra. She’s going through a phase he wished he knew how to handle it better. And he’s also sure she suffers for not having her mother with her. She never says it aloud but he feels it strongly in the force, they are terrible at hiding feelings from each other. 

Ben took the First’ advice: they practice exhaustive hours to enhance their control over the force and their sensitivity through it. It’s all new even to Ben, he’s learning to understand the force and what it actually is, he’s loving it again, finding peace with it. This exercise brought them together even more, their bond as strong as his and Rey’s would be if they’d time to explore it properly. He still feels her deep inside, the kids feel it too, she’s always with them. The connection is home. 

Ben told them everything. From Anakin and Padmé to the day he died in Rey’s arms. It was a very emotional conversation. 

Pollus still beats Allegra in every lightsaber fight, but not so easily anymore. Ben spares with them too. It’s a bliss. He always wins but they’ve come very close a few times.

The First interrupts their training. “Ben, it started. She’s in touch with her dark and ready to explore it deeply. We just wanted you to know.”

___ 

“Dad, you don’t need to worry about us, really.” 

Ben and Pollus are talking after an intense fight. At twenty, Pollus is on his prime form and Ben haven’t aged a day since he died. They look alike, both strong and tall, the biggest difference between them being only the hair color, Ben’s is very much darker.

“I know I don’t need to, but I do. I am your father.” 

Allegra is meditating by herself, away from them.

“I can tell we’re getting closer to the moment we will separate, son. I dread it.”

“Everything will be fine. We will succeed, dad. I just… I wonder how mom will be like.”

Ben doesn’t answer. Rey’s become a touchy subject between them. The First always brings news about her and what she’s doing and Ben has to admit… she’s far darker than him ever was but well, she was always better than him at everything so it’s not a big surprise. She’s leaving a path of death and destruction behind her, going from planet to planet seeking a way to bring him back and it guts him. Whenever they talk about her, they end up in a heated discussion. Allegra hates her while Pollus defends her. Ben doesn’t talk much, he’s not sure what to say. He knows her, she’s made from the same stuff that he is, they are one soul, so he knows she would never do any of these things if she wasn’t completely and utterly sure of what she’s doing. If she didn’t believe it was the only way. She’s doing it for him the same way he died for her. Pollus understands it a little, Allegra doesn’t because for her Ben is the best thing in the whole galaxy and Rey is the reason why he died. They’ve talked about this, over and over again, the discussion ending with both of them angry. 

But of one thing he’s sure: the Rey they’ll meet is not the same Rey he met and that’s the scary part.

___

“Things are getting worse. She gathered a fleet. She’s invading planets and mind manipulating strong and influential people and creatures. It’s the strongest army the galaxy has ever seen because they really obey her blindly. She took over the Senate by force. Killed those that stood opposed to her. Destroyed ships and homes. She created a kind of Order but it’s a facade. She pretends to rule by it and its rules, but the rules were made by her. The ones in charge of the Order never do anything without her approval. She has a castle, she’s earthly based in it, giving her orders from there and sensing from miles away any kind of threat. She kills force users around the galaxy and we’re not sure how she does it, but she finds them… always. Please, listen to us, you must train harder to hide your force signatures.” 

Ben, Pollus and Allegra just stare at the spot the First left. They immediately resume training. They have to hide who they are from her, it’s the only way. Ben knows five years passed for the living since he died. His kids are adults now and they are eager to fight.

___

He promised himself he wouldn’t cry because he thinks he’d cried enough in the past thirty years in the in-between. But he knows it’s inevitable. They are leaving, time has come. He hugs Pollus tightly and is hugged tightly in return. Pollus is crying too. The man his son became is beautiful at heart, mind and soul. 

“I’ll miss you.” Pollus says.

“We’ll meet soon.” 

They end the hug without any kind of awkwardness, they feel everything through the force, a sense of admiration from both of them. They pat each other on the back. 

Pollus steps aside and Allegra comes to him. 

“Dad…” 

Her face is red from crying and Ben just hugs her. He worries so much. Ben kisses her forehead. They are both in front of him and he realizes he raised two amazing human beings. He didn’t think he was capable of this. It amazes him. 

“You two be very careful, okay? You are very much prepared for this. You know what you have to do and if everything goes alright I’ll be there with you soon, okay?” They cry a little harder, Ben too. “Okay? Okay?” He hugs them again. “I love you with all my heart.” 

They only separate when the First interrupts the moment. 

“It’s time.” 

They leave. Ben is left all by himself but he doesn’t feel alone. At all. He hopes they can find a way to show Rey she’s not alone either. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They will meet soon I PROMISEEEE!   
> .  
> And I just wanted to say that every comment and kudo you leave warms my heart!   
> Thanks guys, means a lot!


	6. It all starts in Takodana

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Life is just crazy right now, so I hope you are well and taking care. 
> 
> On to the chapter :)

The silence on board is heavy. Pollus avoids looking at his sister. Allegra is silently crying since they left for Takodana. His mind is burning with questions, but the one that he keeps coming back at is: _why?_ He’s very aware of everything his mother’s done, he knows she’s capable of ending entire planets, killing thousands and so on, but what he doesn’t understand is why would she destroy a free zone planet, that once was close to her heart, now, after all these years? She had every chance to do it, but she sent them instead. 

She even gave them weapons and a ship. 

“We shouldn’t do this.” Her voice is small and fragile, tears still running down her face.

“We have to.” As he says it a nauseating feeling invades him. 

“What if I’m against it?”

“You think I’m not? You think I want to destroy a whole planet? Kill innocents?” 

She doesn’t answer. They keep staring at the stars falling behind as they travel in light speed.

“We knew, Allegra. We knew it wouldn’t be easy.” 

“I never wanted easy… I just-” She sighs. After a long moment she wipes the tears from her face and turns to him. “Fine, we need to think: Why this mission? Why us? She could easily do it… It’s a place we know have some meaning to her and… to dad. Does she suspect us?”

“I’m not sure. I think she just wants to test us.” 

“Yes, I mean… are we going to find some resistance there? Are we even able to kill everyone, Pollus? Are our lives in danger?”

“I can’t tell, really. As far as I know, since Takodana is a free zone, it’s totally unguarded.”

“Are we close?”

“Yes, almost there…”

They watch as the speed slows down and all the green from Takodana invades their eyes. “Wow, it’s really beautiful here.” Allegra says, her voice muffled by a sob. “Where’s the place she said we should land?”

“I’m not sure, I think near a castle… look, there.”

Pollus lands them gracefully. The place is swarming with humans and creatures of every kind, singing along a loud music, hundreds of ships scattered around the castle. There are kids running aimlessly, shouting and laughing. The castle’s door is open and it’s clear that some kind of party is still going on inside.

“Shit, Allegra.” He finally succumbs. “We can’t.” He starts crying a little and she lets him do it. 

Allegra gets closer to the ship’s window, her eyes analyzing everything. One entry, few windows, no one seems to be a warrior or a fighter, only families and a few drunks. A curious figure catches her eyes, a small orange creature with magnifying glasses. A pull inside her chest warns her. There’s something else to this mission… 

Pollus sniffs behind her, his moment over “So, how are we doing this?”

“There’s something here, Pollus. I feel it, the force is telling me. Close your eyes, pay attention.”

He does. “Wow… Could this be a trap?”

“Maybe… what if we try to find out what this force signature is before anything else?”

“Yes, okay. Ready?” She nods. 

Everything is brighter and louder outside the ship and as they walk closer to the castle the feeling of a strange yet familiar trace of signature in the force becomes stronger. With the corner of her eyes she sees the orange creature watching them. They walk slowly, stopping a few times to engage, mingle. At certain point they split. 

Pollus rounds the proximities of the castle, his feet fast, his eyes roaming, his body in high alert. A feeling in his gut he can’t quite place. There’s green all around and he follows a path between rocks. What is to this place that calls to them? The signature they felt is a little weaker now as he distances himself from the castle. He climbs a steep mountain and when he reaches the top of it, he takes a good look around: the enormous lake bright with the sun shining above it, the wind is wild and noisy, every tree shaking. He watches the leaves falling and a place across the lake catches his eyes. He leans forward and squints them to take a better look. It’s a dead spot in the forest with brown grass and dry trees, like life was sucked out of it. He’s not sure how long he stares at it, a bad feeling taking hold of him.

A fast and blinding movement in the sky makes his spine goes cold. _What’s happening here?_

He can’t tell, but he’s more than sure that he just saw the Empress’ ship landing near. 

Immediately a memory from his training comes to his mind: _“If you sense anything off, run. Trust the force, son. We can’t face everything, every time, okay?”_

He needs to find Allegra. It’s a trap. They were too foolish, too confident. No one, **no one** fools the Empress. As his legs turn around to run, something heavy hits his head and he’s out. It’s all darkness.

**

Allegra is walking around trying her best to not be rude to the orange creature that keeps following her. The moment she crossed the castle’s door, the force inside her vibrated. She can’t exactly explain the feeling, but something calls to her. Her feet move on their own accord as her eyes scan the crowd, nothing stands out. She leans at a wall. She’s so taken by this trace of signature in the force that she forgets they should be killing everyone. She presses her lips together and her left eye twitches underneath. 

She never asked, but she’s sure that her father had a faint hope that once she met _Rey_ she would immediately fall in love with her. She laughs a little at the thought. She hates her even more now. 

“So…” 

A voice by her side startles her. She turns and is met by big glasses intensively watching her. The eyes behind it are bright and wise and… tender? A soothing feeling washes over her, the force singing inside her. 

“So?”

“Are you staying there forever, child?”

She opens her mouth but there’s no answer.

“Come… I know what you’re looking for.”

Allegra just… follows.

“I’m Maz.”

It rings a bell in her head, she’s heard this name before. Friend or foe? The force still hugs her in warmth. Friend, she decides. She trusts the force. 

They descend a few stairs and a wide hallway faces Allegra at the end. 

“It’s calling to you.”

“What is it?” The trace of signature becomes stronger and she gasps. She recognizes it. It’s her father’s signature. “Is he here already?” She smiles and it’s soon gone… of course not. And why is she talking like this with a total stranger? That knows nothing of what she’s talking about? Maz just shakes her head and keeps walking. 

Then Maz stops abruptly. She points to a room and turns around to leave. Allegra doesn’t question her. 

She puts her hands at the door. Almost afraid of what she might find behind it. She turns the knob taking a big breath. The room is massive, but inside there’s only a small table and a lightsaber on top of it. Before she closes her hands around it she already knows it’s her father’s old saber. His signature all over it. A powerful one, however very dark. 

She should be prepared for what happens next, but she isn’t. Images flood her mind, she watches as if she were her father holding the lightsaber… he’d told them what he’d done in his life, she always knew he’d killed many, but experiencing it takes a new toll on her, and the last face the lightsaber shows her is one she’d seen in an old hologram the First gave them. Her grandfather, loving eyes and warm smile. Dying. 

She drops it as if it’d burned her. 

“Who are you?” 

The voice is so menacing behind her that for a second she’s afraid to move. She curses herself for not paying attention, if she had she would have sensed her coming. There’s no choice here. If she lies, she will know, so she does what her guts tell her to. She grabs her father’s lightsaber again and ignites it as she turns around to strike the Empress. 

But she’s frozen mid-action. 

The Empress studies her with sharp eyes and Allegra takes her in. She’s in a beautiful white outfit, a black cape at her shoulders, hair down and a black lightsaber at her hand.

The red lightsaber is thundering in Allegra’s hand, anxious, like her, to move. She tries it but nothing happens. She sees as the Empress eyes moves to the lightsaber in her hand, her face a clear expression of distaste. Allegra pushes through the force in another attempt to move and she goes a little forward. The Empress doesn’t even flinch, however her eyes widen. 

“So… a force user” she tilts her head to the side “I’m very intrigued by you, I must admit.”  
  
The Empress circles Allegra’s still unmoving form.   
  
“I think we have much to talk.” 

Allegra can’t see her anymore since she’s standing at her back and a fear she never felt courses through her, there’s no doubt in her mind that her own mother is going to kill her. But instead of the fatal blow she was waiting for she feels a cold hand in hers, the Empress is holding her father’s lightsaber with her. 

“You know whose lightsaber this is, don’t you?” Her voice is close to her ear, also cold. “I can tell you do, what I can’t tell is how.” And then she yanks it from Allegra’s hand. “I’ve always known Maz had found it, but she would never give me willingly and I didn’t insist… had other things to do, people to kill, planets to destroy and such.” She circles her again stopping in front of her. “What I really want to understand is why Maz would let you touch it. Take it, even. Did it call to you?” She squints her eyes at her. **“Why? Who are you?”**

Allegra gives to the force all she can, she knows she won’t be able to escape, however she’s not going to let the Empress do whatever she pleases with her without even putting up a fight. As she concentrates she feels the force holding her, it’s dark in a way she never faced, never trained with, however if she learned something with her father is that the force is always one and you are one with the force. Without fear or hesitation she embraces the darkness around her and with all her sensitivity she shifts it, bending it the way she desires. There’s no consequence, no temptation to give in to the dark, she understands that the dark side is a vital part of the whole. In a moment that felt like hours she frees herself from the Empress’ hold.

Shock and utter surprise are still plastered across the Empress’ face the moment Allegra ignites her white lightsaber, but the next instant as she lunges forward the Empress comes out of it blocking her blow with both lightsabers she’s holding. Black, red and white fuse together. Allegra sidesteps, striking again. She knows the shock the Empress is feeling still gives her some kind of advantage. She’s not attacking, just blocking every swing Allegra directs her way. 

Allegra is furious. She keeps going, feet fast, barely thinking, just moving. The force around her grows stronger and in a brief moment she believes she’ll be able to escape, be able to defeat the Empress, the one everyone said was unstoppable. 

But then, the Empress, the one creatures and humans whisper about in every corner of the Galaxy finally comes to herself. She lets out a loud cry of indignation as she moves forward striking from both sides, her movements incredibly fast, something Allegra never even imagined. In one strike the white lightsaber is on the floor and Allegra doesn’t have time to get it because she can’t stop moving, she keeps dodging as much as she can, but a brutal swing from the left cuts her side open and she falls, kneeling in pain. From the corner of her eyes she sees another strike coming from the right and she stops the red lightsaber mid-air with the force, it dangles just above her head. Her tears drip on the floor. 

The Empress laughs and puts aways both lightsabers. Standing tall in front of Allegra she calls the white lightsaber to her hand and examines it. Allegra cries quietly as she tries to heal herself, but the force is a mess around her and the Empress, like electricity, unstable. She fears the Empress might feel her signature if she pushes too hard, what if she recognizes something? She doesn’t dare look up, her eyes glued at the white boots of the woman in front of her. She hears as she ignites her lightsaber and she looks up. If she’s getting killed like this, she will stare at the eyes of her killer. 

However, what she sees surprises her. The Empress is not even looking at her, all her attention is on the lightsaber, a curious expression at her face. And Allegra is transfixed by it, by her interest. So, she doesn’t move, she doesn’t even dare to breathe. 

“It’s an outstanding lightsaber.” It’s so low Allegra almost doesn’t hear it. Almost. 

Something inside her stirs, a strange feeling that fills her with warmth and she doesn’t want to admit it, but she realizes it comes from the sensation of getting a praise from her mother. She cries harder and that seems to get the Empress attention. 

“Must be hurting.” There’s no emotion in her voice, it’s just a statement. “Look at me.” And Allegra does. 

Rey moves closer and leans in front of the crying woman. She reaches out and sees as Allegra flinches the moment she touches her side. She’s not sure she’s still able to do it, but she puts all she has into it and soon enough the ugly gash starts to close. Rey feels the force humming, a bit of herself going to Allegra. She stands. Her hand shaking. What just happened so strong she’s a little dizzy.

“Why?” She hears Allegra asking from what seems worlds away. She’s not sure what to say… she just… had the urge to do it, to save her. Because the force told her to. Instead, she answers:

“I’m not done with you.” And she makes Allegra faint with a simple gesture. 

___

Indeed worlds away, Ben is ready to leave the place he called ‘home’ for 30 years. Not knowing what’s going on drives him crazy. Even after uncountable hours of meditation throughout these years nothing is enough to keep him from pacing around. He can tell the moment is near, the force so different there’s no way for him to stay here any longer. It’s like this little place Rey built for him is crumbling down. 

Memories of him and his kids fill every corner of the place and he’s very grateful that he had this chance, that Rey gave him this. She gave him his life back, she gave him the best children in the whole galaxy. And now he’s ready to give her everything in return. He’s more than ready.

But to think that the Rey he’ll meet is not the same one he left is… jarring. And then there’s Allegra and Pollus. They are his everything and he won’t let anything happen to them. Rey is also his everything and it frightens him what this new side of her can bring to their relationship. Do they even have a relationship?

The characteristic sound that indicates the arrival of the First takes him from his concerns. 

“Ben, it’s time.”

“Did she reach her full darkness?” 

“What?… Oh” The First laughs “Right, that… look, Ben, we may have lied to you a little about that, but-”

“Are you serious?”

“Yes, it was always our power to get you out of here, not Rey’s.”  
  
The silent is deafening. 

“We’re sorry, really, but if you knew this, you wouldn’t stay here willingly and you had to, Ben. You had to.”

A forgotten anger flares inside him but he knows there’s no sense in arguing, they are right. And it’s finally time to leave. To see her, to touch her. His anger dissipates fast. “Is there anything else I need to know before coming back?” 

“Yes. You’ll find a reality strange to the one you once knew. Rey’s not the same anymore and her closeness to the dark might… tempt you.”

“I doubt that very much.”

“Yes, you’ve been in contact with your light more than your dark, but you two are a dyad, don’t forget that. You are one.”

“Doesn’t that mean we balance each other out? Like, if she’s in the dark isn’t it easier for me to stay in the light?”

“The same way you left the dark for her, you might as well leave the light, there’s no way of knowing. The dyad only fulfills its purpose when you learn how to balance it out and to get there it’s a long way.”

“What are you saying, exactly?”

The First sighs. “Just be careful, Ben. If both of you surrender to the dark… this, all of this was in vain.” 

Ben just nods. “Don’t worry. Won’t happen. Now, take me back.”

The First stands in front of him. 

“There’s someone who’s waiting for you, someone in touch with the force that we reached out. Her name is Maz, you know her.” They touch his shoulders. “We’ll miss you, Ben Solo.”

“You can call me Skywalker if you want to.” He smirks a little.

The First laughs. “May the force be with you, Ben Skywalker.”

And just like that, he’s gone.

___

Pollus awakes but stays silent, his eyes still closed. Near, voices unknown to him speak in hushed tones. He’s on a hard surface, probably the floor, lying on his stomach he realizes his hands are tied at his back and he can’t feel the familiar weight of his lightsaber at his waist. Panic rises inside him, he’s practically one with his lightsaber, he can’t even remember a time its weight wasn’t there. It feels like he lost a limb. He takes deep breathes, there’s no use in freaking out right now, so he tries to hear the conversation. 

“We can’t just let him go!” It’s a male voice.

“And I don’t think keeping him tied up is a good idea either!” A female voice. 

“We need to interrogate him.” A deep male voice, different from the first one. _Interrogate?_

They keep talking but his thoughts go to Allegra, where is she? Is she alright? Then he remembers… the Empress’ ship. Oh, shit! It was a trap after all. But where is the Empress? He can’t hear her voice. Wasn’t she the one who captured him?

“This is nonsense. We might have bigger problems.” It’s a weak and thin voice. 

A powerful growl silent everyone and Pollus hears heavy footsteps nearing his head. He’s tempted to open his eyes, but he doesn’t and then something… strange happens. Someone is sniffing him. Actually sniffing. His hair, his clothes, his hands. 

Another growl. Someone asks:

“Are you sure?” 

A low growl is the answer. And in a flash he’s being lifted and inadvertently he opens his eyes. The orange creature he saw near the castle is in front of him, by his side there’s a large wookie and a little further two men and a woman. 

“Hum,yes,I see the resemblance… so maybe it’s actually true.” The orange creature says. She puts on her magnifying glasses and watches him for a long while. “I’m Maz. Are you Ben Solo’s son?” 

Pollus is caught by surprise. How is it possible? The wookie growls again.

“Yes, okay, Chewie, I know, I know. Look, you can trust us.” 

Pollus has been silent, but at that he lets out a little ironic laugh.

“Respect me, boy, I used to take care of your father.” The wookie roars, as if agreeing. 

“Look, I’m sorry. Just let me go and I won’t hurt any of you.” Pollus says.

One of the men comes forward. 

“I don’t buy this story, Maz. We should kill him. He’s one of _hers_.” 

“You are way out of your league if you think you have what it takes to kill me.” Pollus is a little angry now. “Just release me, I have to find someone, I don’t have time for this.” He knows he can use the force to escape, it would be simple, really, but he’s afraid the Empress might still be around, she would sense him immediately. He needs to find Allegra. 

Maz sighs. “If you are anxious to go after your sister, forget it. Rey took her.” 

He’s a little shocked. “What do you mean?”

“Look, I wanted nothing to do with this, seriously, I was fine here, minding my own business, trying to live the best I could and then one day, crazy beings that called themselves The First appeared to me and told me that Ben Solo was alive, that he raised his children, a boy and a girl, and that soon they would come to me. I laughed, but now I don’t think it’s funny anymore. So, if you want our help, talk to us, give us anything, because if you truly are here to bring our Rey back, we’re all ears, kid.”

The First? Pollus can’t believe in those two, why hadn’t they warned them? He studies the situation. The Empress took Allegra and he has no idea what she knows. Maz seems to know a lot about them and their mission and she said she knew his father. Could he trust them? The Empress is planets away, if he used the force now, would she still be able to sense it? 

“Hey, man, say something, she talked to you!” The other man comes from behind. 

“Give me my lightsaber and then we talk.” 

“No way!” Both men answer. The wookie growls louder this time. 

Maz keeps watching him. “Maz, don’t trust this guy, come on!” But she’s already holding the lightsaber that was safely tucked at her back. 

“Free his hands, Chewie.” And the wookie does. Everyone is waiting for hell to break loose, they are ready to catch him if he tries to run. But Pollus just extends his hand. Maz looks at him one more time and gently gives him his lightsaber. Pollus holds it for a second and then tucks it away at his waist. He watches them relax a little.

“Okay, lets talk.” 

But then a bright light fills the cave they are in and Pollus closes his eyes. When he opens them, the first thing he sees is Maz’ shocked face and as he slowly turns his head he notices all of them are looking to a place behind him with their mouths hanging open. _What the-_

“Son!” 

His father’s here! And before he can fully understand what’s going on, they are in a tight hug. Tears run down both man’s faces. At this moment he’s so relieved that he feels sure everything is going to be fine. But the feeling doesn’t last long. In a beat the wookie is pulling his father from him and both men are pointing blasters at Ben.

They all start shouting and Pollus can’t comprehend much, but he ignites his lightsaber and things go silent. The wookie is holding his father. Maz comes forward. 

“Enough! Every gun down! Now!”

They all reluctantly do it, Pollus is the last one to put away his saber. “Let him go.” He tells Chewie. The wookie stares at him for a while and then releases Ben’s arms.

“Ben Solo.” Maz comes near him and tugs at his hand making him crouch, taking this way a better look at him. Her small fingers traces his face. First his forehead and his eyebrows, then his nose and cheeks, finally his mouth and jaw. Her black eyes enlarged by her magnifying glasses pierce his eyes. Hell, Ben’s sure they are actually piercing his soul. She smiles. 

Then she hugs him. “It’s finally you.” Ben closes his eyes and hugs her back. It’s such a liberating feeling. Yes, finally.

“Er… what’s happening?” The insufferable pilot from the Resistance asks. Ben releases Maz and stands up and is surprised by a painful blown at his arm. It’s Chewie punching him, apparently. 

“Hey, big guy!” Ben tries. The wookie growls loudly, it’s a lament. Ben winces. “I know, Chewie. I’m so sorry.” He starts crying. “If I could- If I could go back-” The words are stuck at his throat. Chewie cries too, but that doesn’t stop him from punching Ben again. Pollus moves closer in a defensive way. However Ben signals him to stay away, Chewie is not even putting any strength into it. It barely hurts. Ben waits, tears running down his face. He knows nothing he says or do can change or remedy what he did to his father. “I know you are never going to forgive me but-”

Chewie hugs him and Ben shuts up. The moment is a little strange, but yet so familiar. All those times he would fly across the galaxy with his father and the wookie, just a little boy dreaming of being just like his idols. Chewie entertained Ben most of the time Han was making deals, he remembers climbing on Chewie’s back and laughing a lot. The wookie smells the same after all this time and is comforting, soothing. Almost unbelievable. Ben finally relax and tightens his arms around the wookie, his face buried at his fur. Ben forgets where he is, all else forgotten for a while. It’s been a very long time since he felt slightly close to his father. And Chewie is almost a father for him too. 

They let go of each other a little stunned. Ben looks at his own son, a happiness beyond his wildest dreams cursing inside him and then he notices it. 

“Where’s Allegra?”

Pollus looks down. “The Empress-”

“Rey? Where’s Rey? Is she here?” Ben is already walking out of the cave. Maz stops him. 

“She took your daughter, Ben.”

“What? Took?” He’s very confused. 

“Dad, I think she found out that Allegra is force sensitive and took her captive. I wasn’t there… I’m sorry, I’m so sorry-”

“You have nothing to apologize for, okay?” Ben pushes back his own hair in a exasperate manner, sighing. “Fine, I just need to understand everything that’s happening. Allegra is going to be fine. We all are.”

Someone clears a throat behind Ben. It’s the former trooper. _The traitor. No, no, he doesn’t think like that anymore._ “Finn, right?”

“Look, Solo.” Ben raises an eye brown. “I don’t like this, I really don’t. But I can recognize that we might need your help to stop this madness, to stop Rey.” Ben watches him lowers his gaze. His voice now very low. “If she changed so much, if I can admit that, see that, there’s no reason for me to not believe that you too changed, that you too are now different.” Ben is grateful for the opportunity, because he also needs all the help he can get. “But don’t be fooled, if you step out of line, even just a little, I’m killing you without a second thought.” Ben restrains himself from answering and just nods. Finn seems satisfied. 

“Yeah, okay, everything he said.” Poe says.

“Hi, I’m Rose, we haven’t met yet.” Ben looks at her, she seems nice and welcoming. “The First Order killed my sister, I will never forget that, just so you know.” She smiles. Okay, not so nice.

“Fine, are introductions over already?” Pollus says. 

“As a matter of fact, no. Who are you, really?” Finn asks.

“He’s my son. Mine and Rey’s.” Ben says. “It’s a long story.”

“Own, boy. We have a lot to discuss.” Poe says.

“Yes, we do. But it’s not safe here anymore, we have to get inside.” Rose says and heads outside the cave, everyone follows. 

“Inside?” Ben asks, then his eyes widen. _The Falcon._

“Come, Ben.” Maz rushes him inside. 

And it’s just like he’s seven years old all over again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Expect an update soon, I'm finishing next chapter! 
> 
> Leave a kudo or a comment if you feel like it :)


	7. Some family issues

The cell seems much nicer than what she’d imagined. She stands up, blinking fast, her eyes still adjusting to the brightness of the lights that surround it excessively. Her brain is finally catching up and images from what happened make her instinctively embrace her left side, but there’s nothing, no pain, no scar, just a nasty gash at her shirt. _Yes, right. She healed me_. The thought is so startling, Allegra pushes it away. 

It’s just then that she realizes something is **very** wrong. She gasps, panic invades her soul. Despair might suffocate her. 

There’s no force. She can’t feel the force. Not around her, not inside her. It’s gone. _NO, no, no… this can’t be._

She paces around the large and strange cell. Three walls are solid rock, but the fourth one is made of glass and right now there’s nothing on the other side. The rest of the cell is pitch black and there’s nothing more, just a chair at the corner. _Could I break this glass?_ No second thoughts. Chair in hand she smashes it against the glass wall. Nothing happens but she doesn’t stop, a blind fury taking over her. She yells. 

_So, no lightsaber, no force, no way out._

While training they used to talk about situations they might find themselves without their lightsabers, but without the force? _Never._ She thought she was prepared, but well… she wasn’t, specially not so soon into the mission. Took the Empress less than seven days to uncover a part of her facade. _I really underestimated her._

She sits on the floor, legs crossed. She fools herself that a little meditation may bring back the force. She loses track of time. She tries very hard not to think about her brother. _Is Pollus a captive here too?_ Derivations of the same question take over her mind and after a while she feels lost. She never faced this kind of pressure. They grew up totally protected and now she doesn’t have what makes her who she is: her family, her weapon and her connection with the force.

She breathes deeply and squeezes her eyes shut. She’s not giving the Empress the satisfaction of her tears.

___

Her head might explode. So used to the pain that Ben’s absence caused her, she’s scared, _yes, scared_ , because the pain… it just- vanished. Even if it doesn’t hurt anymore, the sensation is strange, different, a dormant spot inside her.

Rey enters her chamber shaking. What happened at Takodana still repeating itself inside her mind. The fact that she wasn’t able to tell from the very first time she saw Allegra that she was a force user disturbs her to a point of madness. _She escaped my hold on her._ For far less she killed others, so Allegra should be dead now, but Rey couldn’t do it and this annoys her also. _I have to interrogate her first, there’s no intelligence in just killing her, besides, the brother is still out there._

Sitting at her bed she ignites Ben -Kylo Ren’s- lightsaber. Memories from the last time she had it in her hands come unbidden, the same rush and fury, followed by the intense feeling of guilty and regret. Back then she didn’t understand, couldn’t tell exactly what she felt, but now she knows, she knows she was madly in love with that man, with her enemy, her other half, and years ago the notion of him not existing anymore was terrifying as still is now.

She hates him for dying for her. She hates that she would have done the same for him. 

A solitary tear escapes her eye and again visions of a future they could’ve had together ignites a consuming anger and an endless hate so strong that something inside her vibrates, faintly bringing a signature and a hotness _so Ben_ that she crumbles to the floor. 

The bond. 

But it’s soon gone. 

_Something is happening here. It’s no coincidence these siblings being force users and the bond like this._

_I’m not resting until I have some answers._

She descends to the dungeons of the castle, three lightsabers at her waist. They have a lot to talk about. 

-——

When they boarded the Falcon, Ben’s first question was if being inside the ship wasn’t even more dangerous, but was surprised by the answer Chewie gave him: Rey thinks the ship is destroyed for good, they made a decoy one and now they travel freely with invisible shields hiding this one, the original. That’s why they’re still alive.

Ben just told them what happened these last years, it took hours… it’s been hours he’s inside the Falcon and he still feels an uneasiness that refuses to go away. The ship seems different, but everything is just the same. He looks at Pollus… his son is a wreck. Ben knows he’s wallowing in guilty because of Allegra. He’s very worried too, but he doesn’t believe, even for a second, that Rey is going to kill her. But- he doesn’t know exactly who Rey is now.

“Wow, that’s… that’s really… something.” Poe says. Ben gives him an incredulous look, _no shit._

“Yeah, well, Solo, I’m totally into this idea of bringing her back to the light and such, but…” Finn doesn’t finish and Ben looks around, everyone’s faces a mask of sadness.

“But?” he asks.

It’s Rose who answers. “She… she changed a lot. Really. I mean, what you did back then is nothing compared to what she’s been doing with the galaxy and those who oppose her.”

“Come on, no way… I was-”

“No, it’s not the same. What if she really doesn’t want this? You had conflict in you, young Solo, I’m afraid Rey does not.” Maz speaks and Chewie whines agreeing. “It may come to a point that the only solution might be the cruelest one.”

Takes a beat for Ben to understand what they’re saying. He then laughs at the absurdity of it. “I’m not here to kill her. I’d rather die again.” 

“Sure, only looking after your interests again, right?” Finn stands up, angry, and Ben follows. “You don’t give a damn about what’s happening with innocents across the galaxy, because why would you? Mighty Kylo Ren murdered thousands too, including his own father!”

Anger fills his chest, of course _this traitor_ would throw things like this at him. However, it happens fast and before Ben can respond, Pollus punches Finn, hard. Poe quickly intervenes, separating them. “Son, don’t.” Ben grabs him by the arm and both walk further into the ship, entering a chamber and leaving the group behind. 

“He can’t talk to you like that.” 

“He actually can. I don’t mind and you shouldn’t too, okay?” Ben lies. ”We have to focus, Pollus. We have to get to your sister. I have to reach Rey somehow.”

“Lets just leave! We don’t need them!”

In a way Pollus is right, but- “I don’t think it’s wise.”

“They want us to kill her!!!” Pollus shouts. 

“But we won’t! We are the only force users around, they think only we can stand opposed to her, son. I understand in a way. When I… when I was in a bad place, your mother and your grandmother were the only ones that could reach me… they did it through the force.” Ben raises his eye browns. “Yeah, well, Rey kind of killed me, but she saved me right after, no big deal.” 

Pollus stares at him. Rose’s voice invades the place. “Finn is ready to apologize, please come, I don’t want her dead either, okay? Can we just think of a plan together? Is that good? Yeah? Yeah.” And she leaves.

“I like her.” Ben says. 

“Me too.”

___

Rey stares at her for a long time, she seems calm while meditating, but Rey knows that’s just a mask. Inside this particular cell there’s no force and it’s maddening for any creature in sync with it. Rey created the place with a lost Sith artifact -well, actually, a rock- she found during her years exploring the galaxy. The cell’s floor is entirely made with its material. 

A time ago Rey dared enter the cell and the experience was… overwhelming. Emotions crashed her. Relief and joy from not suffering from her connection to the force, but also mind numbing emptiness… the force is part of her, of whom she is, there’s no escaping it. 

She studies Allegra. There’s a long cut at her left side, her shirt torn from the burn. Allegra’s long hair is tied in a knot behind her head, so her face is clear and visible. Rey gasps. _Why is she so familiar?_ Hard and soft features, high cheekbones, strong jaw, wide mouth, small nose. With her eyes closed Rey can’t see their color, but she’s sure they are also very- 

As if on cue, Allegra opens her eyes and Rey is a little caught by surprise. They just stare at each other. _Brownish… warm._ Rey feels that an important train of thought was interrupted, but she can’t pinpoint it. A nagging voice tells her she is not seeing what is right in front of her. _What? What is it?_

“Comfortable?” She asks.

“Immensely. Thank you, Empress.” And then she smiles at Rey. _Wow. She’s not afraid of me at all._ A smile pulls at Rey’s mouth. It’s been a long time since someone talked to her like this. Defied her. 

“Well, I’m glad.” She comes closer to the glass and Allegra stands up. They are probably the same height. “So, are you telling me everything I want to know?”

“Probably not, but you already knew that. Just do it, then.”

Rey invades Allegra’s mind brutally.

Nothing. Walls and walls of protection kick Rey out. Stunned, she sees Allegra smirking at her. 

“Found something?”

“How?” her voice a whisper.

“You’ll never know.”

_She’s not even using the force to protect her mind._ And a feeling Rey forgot it existed fills her for the second time in less then a day. Fear. She’s afraid. The unknown ignites in Rey primitive emotions. Throughout her life uncertainty ruled her every day and she feels that only when she embraced the darkside she took things into her hands, however, now, Allegra scares her, what she represents and who she might be, also. This enrages Rey, _I won’t lose control over this._

Hitting the glass that separates them she yells at Allegra. “I’m getting what I want!”

And Allegra’s screams are deafening to Rey’s ears. 

——

“Okay, this plan may work. But… are you really wearing this?”

Ben looks at himself and sees nothing wrong, his clothes are fine… black shirt, black pants, black boots. “What’s wrong with it?” 

“I don’t know, aren’t they too _common_?” Poe says. 

“So?”

“Sooooooo, I’m saying that she’s the Empress now, wears dresses and outfits for every massacre. I mean you guys are practically one and you’re going to meet her like this?”

Ben squints his eyes at him. Poe smirks. “Are you messing with me, Dameron?”

“Well, Solo, maybe I am.” 

A smile starts spreading across Ben’s face but is abruptly interrupted by the pure horror that invades him. A faint trace of Rey gets to him through the bond, her feelings almost his own. It’s like their bond is full again, but so different from what it once were. She’s full of darkness. Ben falls to his knees and voices around him are baffled by the erratic beating of his heart. 

He closes his eyes and he’s there with her, he sees what she sees, feels what she feels. He’s doing what she’s doing and it repulses his very being. She’s torturing their daughter by trying to invade her mind. He screams inside his mind, a sounding **STOP** that flows through their bond in a wave of shock and disgust. 

Rey immediately stops. 

But then the connection is severed. He’s left a wreck on the floor.

___

A defeated sigh escapes her. Her throat is sore from screaming. Tears and sweat mix at her face, there’s blood dripping from her nose. She feels weak. She feels like falling endlessly inside a hole of despair. Then in a minute the Empress is by her side, holding her, crying with her. 

It’s too much. 

She closes her eyes. 

___

He just took off, all their planning on hold for now. Ben grabbed Pollus as soon as he felt a little better and took a smaller ship that Maz lent him. Allegra’s screams still filling his ears. His soul. 

He saw it. _Rey_ doing it. 

The moment Ben told them he was going to see Rey right now, they just accepted and sensing the urgency they made it clear they would be on high alert, ready to help if it was the case. Ben was grateful. 

“Are we close?” He asks his son.

“Halfway there.” Pollus looks at him and Ben knows what’s coming. “What’s happening, dad? I felt something in the force too, you can’t hide it from me.”

“What did you feel?”

“Something so wrong and dark that I’m almost afraid to know.”

“She was trying to invade Allegra’s mind. It-” He rises from his seat and paces the cockpit. “The bond opened so wide it was like I was doing it.” 

“Dad, I had no-”

“I don’t want to talk about this now. I know she stopped, but I’m-” He sighs.

They stay silent. Just the notion of maybe having the need to fight Rey exhausts him. 

___

She’s not sure what happened. Ben talked to her. Ben was there. The bond was alive. 

But right now there’s nothing. She’s inside the cell, holding a probably fainted Allegra and looking at her once again. Ben said she was-. No, it’s impossible. However, it would explain everything. 

Rey squeezes her a little stronger. Her mind is trying to catch up with her feelings. She feels confused and scared, again… still. The possibility of Allegra being her _daughter_ and Ben being _alive_ are so absurd she laughs and cries. _My family._

She's now in a daze of denial. _It’s impossible._ She closes her eyes and releases Allegra to embrace herself. She cries as she chants inside her mind things she knows are true: _Ben’s dead, I don’t have a daughter. Ben’s dead, I don’t have a daughter. Ben’s dead, I don’t have a daughter._

Allegra is so fast and silent that Rey only realizes what’s happening when she sees herself alone inside the cell. The glass door Rey had left open is now closed and on the other side Allegra is watching her with hate. 

Rey stands up. Her lightsaber still at her waist, but useless inside the cell, there’s no way out, only the door that is now closed shut. Allegra is holding her own lightsaber on the other side, Kylo’s at her waist. Rey’s not sure on what to say or what to do. She feels naked and exposed. 

She’s worried about Allegra, but she seems fine on the other side, her grip on the lightsaber so strong it makes Rey flinches a little. 

“I should kill you.” She says. “Is my brother a captive here too?”

Rey just looks at her. _Yes. It’s possible._ A twitch under Allegra’s left eye makes Rey lose her air. _Such a Ben’s thing to do_. Her eyes roam Allegra’s face. _She looks like him. She looks like me._ The realization so strong she moves closer, her hands extended as if wanting to hold her again. Rey touches the glass. 

“Who are you?” It’s a whisper, a pleading. 

Allegra’s expression falls and she starts crying desperately. Rey’s heart hurts a little at the scene. The woman looks so lost, so frightened and broken, vulnerable like a child as if in need of something Rey also lacked all her life: a mother’s embrace. 

“Allegra.” She doesn’t answer. “Allegra!” Rey calls again. “Look at me.” Allegra ignores her and kneels while trying to hold back her sobs. She’s saying something over and over again, but Rey can’t understand. “Talk to me, tell me who you are.” Her calm surprises herself. She’s locked inside an awful cage with her enemy holding an advantage, but her concern is not for her well being, but for Allegra’s. The feeling so strange to her, so forgotten that she takes a moment to realize she’s feeling some kind of empathy towards her. 

“…you…I-”

Rey can’t hear. “What did you say?”

Then Allegra breaks completely, screaming at Rey’s direction. “I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU!” It’s quite violent. Allegra gets up and comes to the glass, facing her, repeating the words, and this close Rey is sure: she’s exactly the little girl she had visions with, exactly like her daughter. Allegra is a part of her, someone she loves unconditionally, a girl she would dream about almost every night, the pure representation of hers and Ben’s love. 

And now she was in front of her. Really, truly. In the flesh.

And she hated her. _She hates me._

_How?_ “How is this even possible?” Allegra stops at her question. “Are you really her?” In any other situation Rey, the Empress, would have been ashamed of her tone, so gentle and uncertain. Allegra blinks furiously, centering herself and taking a step back, her face still a mask of anger that resembles Ben’s so much Rey wants to cry, and then an urgent matter pops to her mind. “Is he alive?” She waits for an answer but Allegra just stares at her. Rey closes her eyes. “Please, tell me. Is he here?” Nothing. “Is this real? Are you real?”

“I guess there’s no point in hiding anything anymore.” Allegra says. Rey opens her eyes, waiting. Allegra studies her. “I really underestimated you.” She laughs a humorless laugh. “Yes, this is real. I’m your daughter.” Unbidden tears falls from Rey’s face, she dares not to move, afraid it might end the moment. “Dad’s alive.” To hear her refer to Ben as dad does something strange to Rey and she’s sure she demonstrates it because Allegra soon corrects herself. “Ben. I mean, Ben is alive.” Rey’s mouth drops open, a billion questions running wild inside her head. She knew he was alive, she just felt him through the bond… when she was torturing their daughter. A chill runs down Rey’s spine. _What have I done?_

“Allegra-”

“Don’t. You-”

She stops mid sentence and her face brightens up. Rey is transfixed by her beautiful daughter. Allegra looks at her one last time before turning around. “Where are you going?” Rey asks. Without a second glance she leaves. Rey is once again alone.

___

The moment they land both feel Allegra’s signature in the force. Ben’s so relieved he lets out a shaking breath. _She’s fine._ Ben knows Rey’s alive because the bond is still there, but where’s her signature? 

Through the force they sense Allegra approaching fast, her signature and power all in the open, no hiding. They exit the ship and Pollus gives him a questioning look. They hear her before they can see her. 

“DAD!” She comes running from the castle, arms outstretched, a big smile on her face. She hugs them tightly. “Pollus, I was so worried, what happened to you?” 

“You’re not gonna believe it-”

“Where’s Rey?”

Allegra glares at him. “Right, because she’s more important-”

“Yes, right now, she is!” He’s a little angry and both look surprised at his answer.

“SHE JUST TORTURED ME!”

“I KNOW!” He answers exasperated. Allegra’s look is one of a lost child. “Look, I know and I’m so sorry it came to this. I’m sorry this happened, but, please, I need to see her. I-” He stops because his eyes fall to her left side, drops of dried blood and the gash at her shirt painful to look at. He swallows dryly. But then, at her waist, a power he can’t ignore calls to him. “My old saber.” He opens his palm and the lightsaber goes to him, unencumbered. He ignites it and stares at the violent red. He’s sure minutes go by and he blinks getting out of a daze. Pollus and Allegra seem frightened and he tries to smile to reassure them. He realizes he can’t. “Just tell me where she is.”

He’s finally reuniting with his soulmate after long thirty years.

___

She paces inside the cell, angry at herself. _Is Pollus my son also?_ She never had visions with a boy in particular but at each passing second she’s sure they are both her children. She’s so confused. Happiness and regret of what she’d done these past years and specially what she’d just done to her daughter gut her. _She will never forgive me. Ben will never forgive me._ She’s still crying, the last time she cried this much was amid the months after Ben’s death. _Well, supposed death._

Not feeling the force and being unable to tell if he’s here right now frightens her. And without the darkness troubling her, without its power coursing her veins, all seems easier to understand. She never wanted any of this, this life, this Empire and all the killing that came with it. All she ever wanted was Ben. Her family, her home, her everything. She stares at the floor trying to burn a hole in it to just hide away. She feels childish.   
  
“Rey.” 

She lost count on how many times she wished she would hear him calling her again, saying her name, embracing her. She’s petrified. Her back to the glass her face to the floor. He’s right there. On the other side. Everything she ever wished for… then why is she so afraid? She’s shaking from head to toe. Her mind and body hyper aware of his presence even without the force to connect them. 

“Rey?”

She closes her eyes. His voice, his deep and beautiful voice. _Ben._ She wants to scream. She knows he’s just at the glass, waiting for her to turn, to look at him, to smile. She’s unable to function. His tone is so sweet and warm… and she’s _so undeserving._ Her Ben would never love what she’d become, this monster, this cold blood assassin. A darksider far worse than… than Palpatine himself. _I just tortured our daughter._ Ben would never trust her. She’s ashamed of herself. Ashamed of what she’d done. 

“Are you done feeling sorry for yourself?” She gasps a little. “Because I really want to look at you.”

“You-” Her voice fails her. “I-” She’s not sure what to say so she… turns. 

The moment their eyes meet she realizes nothing could’ve prepared her for this.

He’s smiling openly at her and she thinks she might pass out of sheer happiness and delight. He’s there. His soft hair, his incredible and big body, his hand against the glass. He looks exactly the same when she last saw him. Was she able to cry even more? Apparently yes. 

“Hey, beautiful. I missed you.”

“Ben…” She comes to the glass and they are just inches apart. “How?”

“It’s a long story.”

“Where were you all this time?”

“I swear I’m-”

“How do we have a son and a daughter?” It seemed that now that the words were coming out they wouldn’t stop. “Were you in the Worlds Between Worlds? Or were you here? All this time? Why didn’t you reached to me sooner? What’s going on? Are you letting me out of here?”

His smile falters a little and she takes a step back. He’s not letting her out. She tries brushing away her tears. 

“I wish things were easier.”

“How is she? Is she okay?”

He closes his eyes. “She’s shaken.” 

“Ben, I would never-”

“I know. I know, Rey. But she doesn’t.” He exhales loudly. “All I want is to open this stupid door and take you in my arms. I want to kiss you… if possible wash away in one kiss all these years we lost. But, right now-”

“I understand. I want that more than anything too.” 

“Why can’t I feel you in our bond?” 

“There’s no force inside the cell.” He widens his eyes. “It’s because of a Sith artifact.” 

He leans his head to the side. “And how does that feel?” 

“Strange. Freeing.” 

There’s a twitch under his eye. “They don’t trust you.”

“I know. They are smart not to. Did you raise them?”

“Yes.” He smiles again. It’s breathtaking. 

“How are they?”

“They are…” She can tell he’s emotional. There’s a long pause. “I imagined having this conversation with you so many times, Rey. They are amazing. I’m so proud of them. Sometimes they talk and act so much like you it’s freaky.” She smiles and lets herself basks in his words. “They are strong willed and good. Incredible force users and fighters.” 

“I saw her lightsaber. It’s incredible.”

Before Ben can say anything else, Pollus enters the room. 

“Dad, we have a problem.” 

Ben turns to him and both speak in hushed tones. Pollus doesn’t even glance at her so she’s left watching them. Side by side is ridiculous how alike they look. Same height, same expressions, same hair with different colors. How did I miss this? What now is obvious once seemed impossible. She feels an urge to hug them so strong she has to give all she has to maintain some kind of control. She won’t cave. She has to be strong, she has to keep it cool. In the past years she got used to analyze every situation with distance and practicality. _This is the same._ Of course she wished Ben had opened this ridiculous glass door and kissed her senseless, but she knew better than this, he wasn’t stupid and she was sure he knew what she’d done to be feared all around the Galaxy. 

She was also aware that inside the cell her mind and emotions were clearer. At this moment she had no intention in going back to ruling the Galaxy or whatever she was doing all this time. Her mind and soul are now in sync in one goal: protecting her family and just being with them. All the rest be damned. However, the moment she stepped outside the cell she knew this would change, she knew her darkness could take over and from that she had no idea what would unfold. Maybe it was better if she stayed inside. She laughs at the thought of them all living there with her. 

Whatever waited for her in the near future was not going to be easy, but she couldn’t worry. Life never did easy with her. She looks at them again. _They have no idea._ She’s taken out of her thoughts with Allegra's entrance. Rey stares at her, wishing her to look in her direction. She does. _Hate._

“So?” Allegra asks them. “We’re running out of time.” 

Ben curses under his breath. “We have to do it.”

Allegra throws her hands upwards. “Of course we don’t! You just want to!” 

“Sis, come on, it’s not like this, we have no choice.” 

They stare at each other, the three of them. Rey is sure they can understand one another through the force, the scene making it clear to her. _They’re very powerful._ She has a faint idea of what they might be discussing. 

Allegra lets out a bitter laugh. “We can take them all out!” She practically screams, but they stay silent. “What are we even doing here, then? I think I’m not sure anymore.” And then she walks away. 

Ben turns to Rey. 

“There’s an Imperial Committee coming. You already knew that, I suppose?” She nods. No sense in lying. “Okay. I’ll let you out so you can deal with them.” His eyes pierce her soul, she knows he’s begging her to not screw this up. She nods again. 

And after a beat he opens the door. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY!  
> .  
> .  
> .  
> I'm sorry about the torture, guys, but the fic kind of demands it...  
> .  
> Leave a comment or a kudo if you feel like it, I really appreciate :)


	8. Unbreak my Heart

The moment she steps out the bond crashes him with a ferocity long forgotten. He loses his breath. It’s intoxicating. She’s right there and it would be so easy to hold her, to kiss her. Time stand still around them. It’s like all those past years never happened, never existed, the feeling between them the same the day they met and the day they parted. 

Through the bond he knows she feels the same, he can almost hear her thoughts. She wants _badly_ to hug him and he knows he shouldn’t indulge, but with her… there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for her. So he takes a step forward, and his hand tenderly touches her cheek. She closes her eyes and everything around them seize to exist, they can only see one another. Closing the gap between them, she circles him with her arms, her face against his chest and he holds her tightly, his life depending on it, the feel and the smell of her a relief. _This is it. This is where I want to be for the rest of my life._ They are in perfect sync. The connection familiar and just amazingly right.

“You are really here.” Her voice is muffled by his shirt. “I missed you so much, so much.” She tightens her hold and brushes her face against his chest, inhaling deeply. “Don’t ever leave me again, ever.” 

“I’m not going anywhere, I promise, sweetheart.” 

He wants to kiss her and he realizes there’s nothing standing in his way, so he gently extricates himself and touches her face again, she’s already looking at his lips, fully aware of his intentions. He just crashes down to her, their lips meeting in perfect harmony as if they’d done this thousand of times and maybe they had, in other lives, other realities. It’s perfect in its initial awkwardness. Just like them. Her lips are soft and they taste the way he remembers, the way he never forgot after all this time. Her hands travel through his back and shoulders in a frantic way and he holds her by the waist, squeezing gently. His tongue timidly touches hers and in the back of his mind he knows he shouldn’t be kissing her like this in front of their son. 

The thought reaches her and she stops slowly. 

They look at each other in awe. A powerful feeling of belonging emanating from them. He rests his forehead against hers, both smiling widely like fools. “Was it enough to erase all the lost years?” He asks, smiling. 

“Not even close.” Her voice carries a promise he’s eager to discover. 

“Are you guys done?” Pollus asks. 

Ben’s smile grows wider. He kisses her gently once, twice more. “Yes.”

He holds her hand, incapable of letting her go. Their bond is shining, that’s the only way he can describe it. It all looks the same as before, but the giant darkness she carries now is returning to her after being closed inside the cell, he senses it and tries not to show how surprised he is. The extend and deepness of it much more than what he imagined, but the light… her light is also there. She seems a bit self conscious about it, her posture stiffening a little, however she keeps their fingers intertwined. 

She’s looking at Pollus. Ben knows she wants to hug him but she wouldn’t dare. Pollus smiles at her, easing the air a little. All their force signatures and sensitivity are now in the open so he guesses Rey can feel their son’s power and intentions, he’s not exactly hiding any of it… as Allegra isn’t either. She’s approaching, and she is **angry**. 

“Oh, what a nice little family. Am I interrupting?” Her voice is pure disdain. 

“Allegra…” Ben warns her.

“What? Did I hurt your feelings talking like this? Like someone who can really see what’s going on here?”

“Don’t talk like that to your father.” Rey’s voice cuts through the room, sharp.

Allegra is a little surprised, Ben will give that to Rey, but her surprise is short and then…

“WOW, that’s rich! Who do you think you are?”

Rey releases his hand and walks directly to Allegra, stopping in front of her. Pollus moves closer to them but Ben raises his hand at his son. _Don’t_.

“I’m your mother, you like it or not.” 

It’s a long pause. “You are nothing to me.” 

Ben flinches and lowers his head. Rey’s quiet. Then, all her intentions and emotions disappear. She’s closing herself and now his only link to her is their bond. He can tell she’s trying to close it off too. 

“That’s irrelevant right now.” Rey says. “I have to deal with this committee and you all should stay here.” She goes to the stairs. “Hide your signatures.” 

“No, I’m not staying here. Doesn’t make any sense. As far as anyone knows we are your guards, _Empress_.” Allegra says. 

Allegra has a point and Pollus nods behind her, Ben looks at Rey, waiting. He can tell she’s making a decision and it startles him a little. He’s frustrated she closed herself. 

She comes to his side. “Fine, you two come with me. Ben, stay here, please.” She looks at him pleadingly and he nods. She hugs him and her voice is so low he almost doesn’t hear. “You have to trust me.” 

She eyes him deeply and sends a warning through their bond, but before he can question her she’s climbing upstairs, Pollus and Allegra following her. 

____

It’s unreal to her that her mother finally knows who she is. Even more surprising is the way Rey reacted, like she was _genuinely happy._ She has to admit even to herself that it shakes a little her resolution in absolute hating Rey. However, she’s not stupid, something is off, she can feel it. 

They enter the throne room and Rey walks to her throne - that Allegra finds ridiculous, all big and black and red - and stops by it. Allegra’s body, soul and mind are wary. “What is this committee?” she asks. 

Rey turns to them, her face a mask, a blank slate, she avoids looking directly at them, and Allegra feels she’s already another person, totally different from the one that was inside the cell, or even just downstairs in the presence of her father. “You can stand behind the throne.” Is all she says. 

Allegra can tell Pollus is also struggling with the command and the situation, but he moves fast to stand behind the throne and she follows. They flank her, hands at their backs, lightsabers hidden inside their clothes - Allegra got a jacket to cover her torn shirt and reminder of what happened earlier. It seems crazy that they’ve been here for an incredible amount of what? 5, 6 standard days? Things are so intense she could easily believe they were here - at the Empress’ castle - for way longer. She gives the Empress a side glance, uneasiness taking over her, the Empress’ posture is stiff and unusual, a bit different from everything Allegra had seen so far. It’s almost like she’s unsure of something. 

They hear steps getting closer - a lot of steps. Allegra’s mind is in overdrive, what kind of committee is this? And then she feels it. Pollus must have too, because the Empress’ voice is strong and menacing “Don’t move, don’t say a word, don’t even breathe if you can.” And as soon as she finishes talking, the imposing and large doors in front of the throne open widely. Allegra’s eyes widen. At least twenty hooded dark figures come in lined up into two files of ten, and in the middle, a man she has no idea who might be, face in the open, smiling. Allegra feels chills all over her body. The man is creepy and really scary. His force signature and power something she never imagined could exist. The toxicity of his power intrigues her.

They stop in front of the throne and up close Allegra sees the man is very young, disturbingly so. 

“Dear Rey, what a pleasure to see you again.” His voice is nothing like his undoubtedly misleading face, it’s loud and deep, and again… chilling. 

“Master.” Rey answers. 

It’s a punch in the stomach. Allegra uses all her remaining self control to restrain looking at Pollus in disbelief. This man is a dark sider probably more powerful than the four of them together and he’s the Empress’ master, and Allegra knows that his presence in the castle can only mean one thing: trouble. It comes to her that before this, they thought apart from the Empress, no other force sensitive existed in the whole galaxy. Lost in her own musings she realizes a little late that the man is looking directly at her, eyes roaming her face. She’s frightened. His eyes goes to Pollus and she doesn’t stop herself, she turns her head to her brother. His face is blank but she can tell how nervous he is by the way his index finger and thumb rub together, franticly. 

“I’m here as you requested, my apprentice. Is this the one?” And then he points directly at Allegra. 

She would’ve fainted if not for years of endless training. She feels cold. A moment of silence drags. She is desperately waiting for her mother’s answer, her mind catching up and understanding everything: the Empress found out she was force sensitive and immediately contacted her master. 

And they never thought or knew she had a master.

“Yes.” 

Allegra would never be able to describe what she felt at that moment, a sadness and a chill so profound she saw white. Her own mother was handing her over to a dark sider master and she knew there was no way to escape. She knew she couldn’t trust the Empress, not even in the slightest, but she was not expecting to feel this kind of betrayal. 

If Rey had opened her side again with her lightsaber it would’ve hurt less. 

“And what else, Rey? I can sense there’s something you’re not telling me.” As he said those words, two hooded figures seized Allegra by the arms. She let them. 

Now, by his side, she could see that his eyes were red. Blood red. He touches her face and she immediately starts crying like a child. His soul, this man, he’s pure evil. She wonders if her permanent mind walls that kept the Empress outside will be strong enough to stop him. They are the same height and he’s looking inside her eyes with mad ferocity. His other hand comes to her other cheek and he holds her in place, she sobs, a scream escapes her throat. And then it’s over. He releases her and she sees the Empress at his side, touching his arm. 

“Master, there’s no need for that now.” Her voice is silky. “You’ll have plenty of time later.” She looks at Allegra briefly, barely acknowledging her and steer the master closer to the throne. Just being a few feet away from him gives Allegra time to breathe, she’s gasping for air. 

“Surely. Now, tell me.” He demands. 

“This one.” And the Empress points at Pollus. Allegra might kill her right now. “Is also force sensitive.” 

To Pollus credit he doesn’t even flinch. 

“Amazing. Siblings, I gather?” 

“Yes.”

“Where were they all this time?”

“No idea. But I intend to find out, of course.” 

“There’s more… isn’t there?” 

Allegra sees him staring at the Empress and she knows what’s coming next. She feels the urge to yell, to start a fight, to kill everyone in the room, but a look from Pollus stops her, _don’t be foolish_. 

“Yes. A force user we thought dead is downstairs.”

“You evil snake!” Allegra’s voice is so loud the Empress and her master seem startled for a moment. 

“Well, well… what is this, Rey? Such spunk!” He snaps his fingers and two hooded figures seize Pollus. “I like it… reminds me of you.” He turns to look at his apprentice. Allegra watches them and realizes that Rey is completely fine with this man taking her children and her soulmate away to probably some kind of prison and endless torture. 

And then to shatter her heart entirely she sees her father entering the room, head held high, but immeasurable hurt in his eyes. His warm eyes never leaving Rey’s face. Hooded figures go to him but he raises his hand. “No need of this, I’m going willingly.” 

Ben stops in front of the Empress, towering her, and it’s the first time she seems a little uncomfortable. The master just watches, a smile on his face. 

“You’re breaking my heart.” Ben says. He presses his lips together, pouting a little. 

She doesn’t answer and they just stare at each other for a long moment until the master snaps his fingers again. All attentions turn to him. “Time to go. I expect to see you in a day, apprentice.” And without another glance he starts for the doors. Pollus and Allegra are dragged by his minions. Ben stays close to Rey and before walking out, Allegra is sure she sees the Empress nodding at him. 

Everything after that is pitch black. 

___

  
When she senses they are far enough she crumbles to the floor. She sucks the air desperately but it seems she’s unable to breathe. She feels dizzy and lost, it’s her fault, it’s all her fault. _Stupid, stupid!_ She screams to the ceiling and gets up. She walks fast, with purpose. 

Inside her chamber she goes from one place to another wildly, because if she stops she will remember Ben’s face and it will kill her. Allegra’s tears and despair were almost too much to bear along with Pollus resignation. The moment she stepped out the cell and found home in Ben’s arms she already knew what she had to do, what her priorities were, but she had no time to explain so she just acted, _they’ll understand… I hope_. 

She tries to calm herself. In a standard day she’ll meet them again at her master’s temple and she needs a plan. If she’s not wrong he was unable to surpass Allegra’s mind walls and that bought them some time, for sure. She’s certain Pollus and Ben also have this kind of protection, so when she gets there her master won’t know yet who they truly are. If he finds out they are hers… she closes her eyes. _My family._

She needs a plan.

____

Ben watches Pollus and Allegra still unconscious at the floor. He won’t wake them because right now he’s furious. Furious with the situation, furious with this master, furious with Rey. He knows what is like to be a dark sider and have a master, someone always telling you what to do or watching your every step, so in a way he knew she didn’t have a choice, but still… it pisses him off. Did she feel this way when he obeyed Snoke? He changed so much since his days in the dark, parenthood and his newfound peace with the force were key to this change. 

It disturbs him a little that the bond has been silent. No sign of Rey or her emotions. She’s there, of course, like always, but nothing comes from it. He figured the moment they were apart she would try to contact him and explain or maybe give them a clue on how to deal with this master, but... nothing, just silence. 

This stupid master. Who is he? What does he want? Who is Rey to him? When did they meet? If he’s her master, what have he taught her? Ben felt his power and darkness the moment the supposed committee’s ship landed near Rey’s castle. It’s absurd for someone to be so powerful. Ben thought he wouldn’t feel anything close to fear, but to have his children so vulnerable, so exposed at the hands of pure evil… it is frightening and he’s not sure what to do. He doesn’t know where they are. Does the master have many minions? Is it just him? The fact that he put the three of them in the same cell is telling. He considers them nothing, no threat at all. 

The First warned him. They said Rey would betray them but he didn’t want to believe that, however… _she kind of did_.

He lets out a growl of pure indignation. 

“Having a hard time there, Skywalker?” It’s him. The master. He’s watching Ben form across the bars. 

“Who are you?”

“I’m Ylon. Master of the Dark.” Wow, what a ridiculous title. 

“Ookay.”

“It’s only natural that you don’t know who I am. Where have you been all this time, Skywalker?”

“Dead, I guess.” Ben shrugs. 

Ylon looks at him, smirking. “I see…”

And then there’s just pain. Sheer pain and suffering. Ben kneels. This is way worse from what Palpatine did to him and Rey in Exegol. A vision comes to his mind: A tall dark haired man stands in front of a suffering Rey, his lightsaber strikes her with ferocity and she dies immediately. A second later his brain understands the man is him. He’s the one killing Rey. The scene repeats itself over and over again. 

It’s his worst nightmare. “Make it stop. Make it-” He screams. 

And then it stops. 

“I hope you understand that you can’t play with me. Never.”

“What do you want?” 

“Isn’t it obvious?” He comes closer. “I want your very soul… and of course all of your power. I want everything. I feed on the light you have inside you and I replace it with darkness.” He clicks his tongue. “I’ll come back later… we’re going to have so much fun.”

And he just vanishes. 

“Dammit.” Ben murmurs. 

Immediately Ben feels the bond opening up, the sound around him closing in. Rey. She’s right in front of him in a beat. Really in front of him. Inside the cell. 

She’s anxious. _”Don’t speak out loud with me.”_ She says inside his head. 

_“How?”_ He asks her mentally. 

_“It’s the dyad thing. I’ll explain.”_ She answers. _“I felt him torturing you. I will murder him myself.”_

Rey looks at Pollus and Allegra and closes her eyes. 

_“If he touches them… I- I’m so sorry.”_ She says. 

Ben knows she really is, all his fresh anger is gone. He hugs her and they stay that way in silence. Through the bond they try to reassure and sooth each other. 

_“He can’t trace me this way, he doesn’t know about the dyad or the bond.”_

_“Aren’t they the same thing?”_

She looks at him puzzled. _“No, they never were… I thought you knew.”_

_“No… I- Tell me later?”_

She smiles weakly. _“Of course.”_

_“Hey, we’re getting out of here, okay?”_

_“Yes, I know that.”_

_“I can feel you. I know that you are sure we’re going to die here, Rey.”_

_“He’s just so powerful…”_

_“Who’s he?”_

_“They're starting to wake up.”_ She points at Pollus who’s stirring. 

The moment he opens his eyes Ben puts his finger at his own mouth indicating that he should be quiet. Pollus understands and gets up slowly. He has his back to Rey, so when he turns and sees her his eyes widen. Rey raises her hand and asks only moving her lips _“Are you okay?”_ Pollus nods, confirming. He looks at Ben, his shoulders and hands asking him “What’s she’s doing here?” Ben ignores his question with a wave of his hands. Allegra is waking up also and this is going to be… terrible. 

She grunts before opening her eyes. “Shit, it hurts…” She puts her hands at the side of her body where she had a nasty gash. She doesn’t even look around, her only concern the wound that is now reopening slowly, inch by inch. She looks at Ben, her face white. “Dad!” Her voice is desperate. 

Ben tries to keep calm, but his emotions are wild and so are Rey’s. They both crouch at Allegra’s sides. She’s making a face, trying to hold the pain. She’s not even angry Rey is there. She just looks at her, pleading with her eyes a way for Rey to take her pain away. 

_“Ben, I can’t heal her now, if I do that Ylon will know I’m here.”_   
  
He doesn’t bother answering, his hands go to the nasty wound and he tries concentrating. Rey’s pouring all her power and willingness into the bond, so the healing should be easy.

But nothing happens.

“It’s not working.” Ben’s voice is a little desperate and he’s feeling all his self control slipping away. 

“Dad!” Allegra is looking at both of them, lost. 

Ben looks at Rey. He’s feeling her indecision through the bond. _“Do something!”_ He tells her. 

She grabs Allegra’s hands and looks at Ben. _“Leave it. I mean it. I know what I’m doing. Tell her everything will be fine.”_

He’s torn. He trusts Rey but his daughter is dying in front of him. He tries again to heal her, all his energy and power into it. _“You have to stop, Ben. Stop. Just hold her.”_ His eyes go from Rey’s to Allegra’s face. 

“Dad!” Pollus urges him. Allegra starts screaming from the pain. 

“It’s okay, it will be fine.” Inside he’s a mess. Fear of losing his daughter takes over him. _“Rey!”_ She’s calm and for a brief second he thinks that she doesn’t care at all if Allegra dies. It’s a glimpse of a thought but she catches it inside his mind and the feel through the bond changes. She’s deeply hurt that he would think that. She looks at him and bit back tears. _“She’s fine, Ben.”_ Rey releases Allegra’s hand and walks away from them, coming close to the bars of the cell. 

“I-, I-” Allegra is pressing her hands at her side that a second ago was open and horrible. There’s nothing there now, like it never existed. “What was that?” She asks weakly. 

Ben gets up and goes to Rey, Pollus helps Allegra. 

He touches her arm and Rey flinches away. _“We don’t have time to lose.”_

_“What just happened?”_ Ben asks. 

_“It was a test. From Ylon. He manipulated the situation… he was sure if you couldn’t heal her you would be a little closer to the dark. He doesn’t know what she is to you, but he imagines you have some kind of relationship. I was fooled for a second but… his tests don’t affect me anymore.”_

_“Why?”_

_“Because I have no light left.”_

_“What? Of course you-”_

She raises her hand to him. Allegra and Pollus whisper in the back. Ben hears her saying “Are they really talking inside their heads? That’s kind of awesome.” 

Rey goes to them and Ben follows, all four standing in a circle. _“I want to try something. Ben, I can tell they have some piece of our bond inside them… I wonder if-”_

She extends one hand to Pollus. He looks at her a little confused and suspicious. Ben feels her hurt, and encourages Pollus by nodding his head. Pollus takes her hand and Rey’s light widen inside, so bright, so her. _Beautiful_. Pollus smiles a little. Then… she reaches out to Allegra. Their daughter stares at Rey’s hand as if it were her worst nightmare. They all hold their breathes. Rey is desperate for her to take her hand, for her to trust her, even a little. 

Allegra rolls her eyes. “Fine.” And takes Rey’s hand reluctantly. Everything inside their bond intensifies, everything is bright. It’s warm. It’s right. It’s love. It’s home. Ben takes their other hands and smiles at Rey. She’s overwhelmed. 

_“Can you all hear me?”_

_“Wow! That’s actually creepy.”_ Allegra says. Pollus laughs. 

_“Okay, this is a secure space, Ylon can’t reach or find us here.”_

_“Who’s Ylon?”_ Pollus asks. 

_“The master guy.”_ Ben answers. 

_“I found him adorable.”_ Allegra glares at Rey.

_“If we use the bond and the dyad to our advantage I think I know how to get you out of here.”_

_“What’s the point? If we escape he’ll come after us.”_ Allegra points out.

_“Yes, but then we’ll be prepared!”_ Rey’s patience with Allegra is already running out. 

They feel everything through the bond and that’s just… they all know Rey is nervous and a little insecure. They also know Pollus is happy their mother is trying to help them. And that from Allegra there’s only suspicion and doubtfulness. Ben’s not sure what Rey’s plan is, but she can tell how totally on board he is. _“Okay, enough, Rey, tell us your plan.”_

_“Ben, our bond allow us to connect regardless time and space and the dyad intensifies it, since Allegra and Pollus share our blood, they also share our bond. I came here using the dyad, you are part of me, Ben, so half of me is here and the other half is at the castle.”_

_“Shouldn’t you be just a projection, then?”_

_“No, it’s different. The bond makes it possible. I’m almost sure I can take you to the castle with me each time I come and go back.”_

No one answers. Allegra tries to hide her admiration and Pollus feels some kind of hope. But Ben… he knows the toll it would take on her if she did that. 

_“Ben, we have to try. It’s the only way!”_

_“It can kill you!”_

_“I don’t care!”_

_“But I do, Rey!”_

_“I won’t let him touch our kids! Dammit! You have no idea what he’s capable of.”_

Ben can’t believe this situation, he never expected a new master would be on the scene. All he wanted was to reunite with Rey and have the four of them together. He exhales loudly. 

_“Dad, I hate to agree with her, but it might be the only way. We have to try it, because if we don’t… everything you ever wanted won’t be possible, okay?”_ Allegra squeezes his hand and looks at Rey. _“We should try. But, please… for him… try not dying, okay?”_

_“I will do my best. I have to prepare and then, later, I’ll be back.”_

Rey smiles and looks at him. Through their bond only one feeling can be felt. Love. _“I love you.”_ She looks at them pointedly, making herself understood, Allegra averts her eyes and Pollus smiles. 

Before Ben can say it back she is gone. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, well, well
> 
> Leave a comment or a kudo if you feel like it :)


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